Are there many other 35 year old virgins?

aw1973 · May 10, 2008, 08:03 AM

I'm a 35 year old woman and I've never had sex.
But I think I need to tell you more about me to understand how this has happened.
I was close to having sex a couple of times, but not for the past 8 years, as I haven't had a relationship since.
My first sexual encounter was when I was 13. My 18 year old neighbour pushed me into a corner and touched me inappropriately. I was able to run away after a while. Then my mother's boyfriend tried to touch me - again I was able to push him away.
When I was 15 I was very confident about my look and I got a lot of attention from boys/men. That's when I fell in love and seriously thought about having sex. But the young man I fell in love with died suddenly due to an accident.
I started gaining weight and became less confident about my appearance. Although people tell me I'm pretty, I'm pretty fat and my body has been ruined by the weight losses and gains over the years. I don't feel very attractive, although in some ways I'm very aware of my sexuality, e.g. I know that men like my breasts. A friend of mine told me recently that I appear very confident and that I ooze sexuality.
Inside me, it's all different. I don't know how to approach men. As soon as I feel that they want more, I get uncomfortable. I'm afraid they will find me unattractive when they touch me at certain wobbly places or I get insecure, because I'm not experienced.
I've never touched a penis, because I thought I'm going to do it wrong.
I don't think I'm frigid, because I fantasize about sex a lot and orgasm when I masturbate.
So what's really my question? Well, first of all, am I the only one out there in a similar situation?
Is this normal? What should I do? I do want to meet a special person and I want to have a fulfilled sex life. What do men think about a woman like me?

Choux · May 10, 2008, 07:16 PM

I would just like to say that I get the vibe that you are of two minds. On one hand, you appear sexy to men and desirable(which you put forth!!), and on the other hand, on the inside you are innocent and probably fearful of intimate relations. Am I right?

So, I think you have to seek to become of one mind about sex and men! There is the direction toward real adult sexuality.

Really best wishes in 2008.

KeepItSimpleStupid · May 10, 2008, 07:22 PM

This is an interesting thread. I'd ike to suggest taking a college course, like one entitled "Foundations of Human Sexuality".

The course can be a lot of fun and a good learning experience.



At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you will be able to: Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+ topics. Accept money for answers that you provide. Communicate privately with other members (PM). See fewer ads. Sign Up!