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smoothy · Mar 23, 2009, 05:59 AM

Just remember... always look forward, not back. Eventually you will wonder in your heart how you ever felt this way about him. And it will be sooner than you think.

Always move forward... never move backwards.

cozyk · Apr 17, 2009, 12:12 AM

Hey lovergirl, I have to check up on you now and then to make sure you are staying strong. I was going to say "how is life treating you these days" but you know what? You don't have power over that. The question should be "How are you treating life these days"? You have some say over that.

lovergirl247 · Apr 28, 2009, 03:08 PM

Hello everyone. Things are getting much better. They are better. He has finally removed his belongings out of the place and I can now situate things the way that I want them. He calls me still... tells me he loves me and all that stuff. But I now have my own life. I do my own things and have more strength to put him in his place when he is in mine. Thanks for your support through all of this and know that I haven't forgotten about all of you.

cozyk · Apr 28, 2009, 03:18 PM

Originally Posted by lovergirl247

Hello everyone. Things are getting much better. As a matter of fact they are better. He has finally removed his belongings out of the place and I can now situate things the way that I want them. He calls me still...tells me he loves me and all that stuff. But I now have my own life. I do my own things and have more strength to put him in his place when he is in mine. Thanks for your support through all of this and know that I haven't forgotten about all of you.

I'm so happy to hear from you. I was just thinking about you... REALLY. I was reading some of my reddie/greenie posts and was redirected back to this thread. I'm proud of your progress. Keep up the good work and put you and your kids first.:):

Jake2008 · Apr 28, 2009, 09:32 PM

That's really good news Lovergirl, good for you!

It must be a relief to have your own space, and be in control of your own life. :)

heidijoanne · May 10, 2009, 01:25 AM

Originally Posted by lovergirl247

I outrage. I have tried so many different tactics at communicating. Being sincere and understanding to no avail. Getting upset and showing anger about the situation to no avail. For a while now I outrage with actually throwing fits. Screaming and yelling and even throwing and breaking things. I am THAT frustrated. I decided today though that he can come back...I want him to but there is a condition...he has to change to walk through my door. I put alot into this relationship and actually expected nothing in return and in expecting that I got exactally that...NOTHING!! After 4 years I thought he would have conformed to a man that has a family that he needs to take care of....he is so selfish and self centered. He comes first. Those are his exact words. I love him though and can find the reasons why, but what I need he can't give and I feel lost and helpless...my heart hurts...how can I get nothing when I feel I have given everything?? How can any person feel comfortable and happy with treating people this way? I am scared and lonely.

Do you know who you are? Do you understand all of your great qualities and strengths? Do you feel that you have a healthy sense of self? Are you constantly looking to others to validate who you are? Im asking this stuff because I have put myself in situations similar to yours as far as men being emotionaly unavailable, or controlling... the yelling when you try to talk about things that are important to you... you really need to look inside and figure out what makes you want to stay with someone that contributes so much to your pain. In the end, it's all about coming from a place of forgiveness and love and all that good stuff. Learn to start with treating yourself with the love and forgiveness you set aside for others and you will see a chain of beautiful souls come into your life. Simply because you are you and you are perfect! Everything is a lesson or a chance to learn more about ourselves. Good luck!

winding200 · May 13, 2009, 02:23 PM

Hi lovergirl,
It is not a good relationshipyou like to have more babies. Are you finacially independent? If I am you, I will end the relationshp ASAP.
You deserve better man.
Good luck!

cozyk · May 13, 2009, 04:25 PM

Originally Posted by winding200

hi lovergirl,
it is not a good relationshipyou like to have more babies. are you finacially independent? if I am you, I will end the relationshp ASAP.
You deserve better man.
Good luck!

Read the prior post. You will see that she has come a long way.