My soon-to-be husband of 5 years is SELFISH in bed. What do I do?

Apparently she's naked and he's not. I have no idea the reasoning behind that.

He's more touchy about it than her? We have to make a lot of assumptions here. I'd honestly like to know what his reasons are. Particularly inside a LOCKED bedroom.

I think we have a lot of problems in that relationship OUTSIDE the bedroom.

How old are your children? Was he more romantic before the children?

You say that sex used to be good until lately. Has he always been 'selfish' about getting his needs met? Has he always ignored your needs? What happens if you tell him you aren't in the mood? What happens if you say 'no, not tonight'?

I think she may mean that men are generally quicker to get in the mood than women are.

I, too, think you need to talk with your fiancé when sex isn't expected and not in the bedroom. If needed, search AMHD for 'female arousal'. Let him read the advice we have given to other couples about how arousal works in women.

Most of it boils down to:
1. Women take time to become aroused. Arousal begins in the mind and the body follows.
2. Distractions, including our own thoughts, can keep us from being in the mood.
3. If we are treated like masturbatory aids, then we will respond like one. If we are mentally and physically stimulated, then we will respond with passion.
4. If he wants to compare you to porn or do what they do, point out that they have multiple takes and everything including the climaxes are faked. He really should watch some behind the scenes footage and outtakes. Reality is not kind to porn.

He is already defensive that is why he is putting it all back on you. You need to ask him why. I agree you shouldn't yell at him, but I do think you need to be blunt and to the point.

Quite frankly, I agree with the advice to not have sex with him if your needs are being ignored. If he is treating you like a blow-doll, then he really can't complain if that is how you respond. However, you can say 'no'. You can tell him that you aren't comfortable or you are confused about what he wants. You can tell him no intercourse until you are ready.

Do you have a wedding date set or is your engagement a promise to talk about marriage later?

I'll go back to why is she so hostile - in general?

I see a lot of very non-specific info.