I have no trouble reaching an orgasim by myself, but when my husband and I are together I rarely have one. I used to all the time when we were first married, multiple even, but now without manual stimulation, I just can't seem to get there. We've tried different positions and that isn't helping either.

aarya2244

u have not told your age>>>>>>>
somehow i will answer
try making a mood
a new nightsuit or a new night cream or perfume/cologne
or ask ur hubby to start the sex slowly by arousing
it will help

smltwngrl

I'm 28. We have tried different lotions, heating stimulants, toys, postitions.... I feel horrible, he is starting to feel really bad which is lowering his sex drive. Tried telling him if we don't have sex, we can't fix the problem. My sex drive is through the roof lately... I am actually supposed to be getting my hormones checked, my gyn thinks I might be starting very early menopause.

Fr_Chuck

How much foreplay is going on, I would say it would not be uncommom for one or more orgasim before starting the actual sex. I am not saying this is not happening, but just wondering.

Chery

Fr Chuck has a point. Maybe you are so much into the regular housework and don't have time to 'prepare' mentally for the excitement that you had in the beginning. Talk to your hubby and make a 'date' where you have nothing else on your mind but that evening with him and see what happens. Leave the dishes, laundry, and even dinner out that day and tell him he needs to show more appreciation and compliment you more - which he probably does not do anymore. Men get into a steady habit and think that we can read their minds and not have to say those special words of love and caring anymore, but they are wrong.
Try meeting in a restaurant, not wearing any underwear, while eating dinner whisper in his ear that you want him when you get home, and tell him what you are not wearing, this will most likely excite you too.
This worked for me after two years of routine that made me actually 'dry up', so from now on, I make dates and look forward to this all day, and lo and behold, it works. Try it, you can't lose, and good luck.

smltwngrl

Thank you both. I will definately try your suggestions. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Chery

Will cross them after answering my mail, don't forget to keep us posted, we might have some other ideas... This is fun because it brings back memories - hope you have fun!

lilfyre

How do I say this with out sounding wrong, you said “I have no trouble reaching an orgasms by myself” Try not doing that some times it is the worst thing to do if you are having trouble reaching a orgasms with your partner.


Oh and you did not have to tell you age to that person or anyone else here, it had no bearing on your answer.

Chery

Dear, menopause is at least a good 20 years up your road, but there is also stress, and other factors that can influence your sex-drive, so check out the site I just looked up for someone else and see if this will give you some hints too. By all means, see your OB/GYN and get reassurance there.

http://www.medicinenet.com/sexual_se...en/article.htm

Don't panic at this site, not all symptoms will apply to you, but will show you that you and other women are not alone here and that it's common enough for women to seek help.

Good luck.