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Hi, first off I want to warn people that what I'm about to say may be considered to be inappropriate or offensive to some. So if so, then you might want to stop reading. Also, please don't make fun of me for this is hard enough coming on here to ask questions to complete strangers. Thankyou.
A little history about myself. I am a 28 year old woman and I have been single for the last 8 months. I work at a law firm while going to law school. I am considered to be a goody goody, well that's what my friends say I am. I would say that I have a good head on my shoulders. However I feel as if I am not in the right frame of mind. In the last 6 months I have been thinking about having one nights stands with random men. Even at work, when I see my boss I have to excuse myself, and go to the bathroom and get myself off. I just want to know if I need to talk to a doctor about this? I feel as if I just want to get {vulgarity deleted} by any random man.. Any advice?
It's not wrong. Actually it's quite natural to have a desire for sexual intimacy- and yes, even for "one night stands" if you're not one to commit. There's nothing wrong with your brain. The only thing wrong could be what you DO with this desire you have. If you're getting off EVERY TIME you want it and it becomes an addiction, or if you're sleeping around and messing around with men (which is dangerous considering the chances of getting pregnant or an STD) you'll want to stop, and handle the desire in a different way. This desire is not wrong in and of itself though.
Well, I haven't acted on anything, as far as sleeping with men. I have only been with 2 people and they were long term relationships. So I thought that it could be that, but it's getting bad where I want sexual plessure all of the time. Even when I am driving in my car, I will be at a red light next to an attractive man, and I will stare at him, thinking, omg if I could just follow him home and take advantage of him.
Btw, none of my friends know this about me, seeing that I want to keep them as friends.
In fact, just the other day I was at a store, and I had this very very attractive man come up to me. We started talking and I could tell, he wanted me. I backed down though. See that's the thing, when it all comes down to it I am a foolish little girl. So I feel like that. It's like Im all talk no action. And these bathroom breaks at work aren't helping any. When I see my boss, who is sexy, I get that feeling where I just want him to f@#k me doggie style on his desk. Then I go to the bathroom, hike up my skirt, one hand on the stall, bite my lip, and think of him and every other man I encounter. hmm I just don't know. I guess because I have been reserved for such a long time. I feel like an animal! I know I sound, well like a pervert.
This is the same thing as me. I currently interested in some girls, one who is also interested in me. But instead of me to take things further, I'm a little distance and instead prefer to use my hand.
Imo I have the idea that masturbating means I will not be sex-crazy as many people seem to be. But it doesn't work that way - I see some girls and imagine me in bed with them.
I think what we need to do is find someone I dunno.. I could never imagine having a one night stand, I would feel dirty. :s
There is nothing wrong with having those kinds of thoughts.. You are only human. I too have sexual thoughts, quite often I must say, as well as everyone else on this site I am sure.. whether it be with their partner or a complete stranger.
I don't think that you need help or to see a doctor. I saw that you have mentioned that you aren't actually following through will any of your fantasies, which if you decide to do so, make sure you atleast know him. You never know who you are inviting into your bed, for all you know, he could be phsyco, not to mention what he might have as far as stds.
I'm going to take a slightly different view. If your feelings are different to how they used to be, then that may be cause for concern.
There is nothing wrong with having fantasies about guys. But if this desire to 'jump on any attractive guy's bones' is recent and is disturbing you, then why don't you go and talk to someone about it?
It may be that you're feeling sexually frustrated or emotionally frustrated, or it may be that subconsciously you want to shed your 'goody-goody' image. Who knows? Only you do.
Rather that being vaguely horrified by your uncharacteristic urges and fighting the desire, it might be wise to get to the bottom of why you're feeling like this.
I'll take Gemini's answer a little further. At 28 your natural libido is at it's peak. Part of this is perfectly natural. Your responses are judicious and careful. Kudos.
As for advice, I have a question. Do you have any guy friends that you trust enough to talk about this with? Any single girl friends? Getting help in finding an outlet does not make you a slut.
You have needs. Finding how to have one's needs fulfilled seems to be approximately 85% of your time on this earth, on average.
[quote=Gemini54;2050284]I'm going to take a slightly different view. If your feelings are different to how they used to be, then that may be cause for concern.
Yes, they are different then how I used to feel. That's one of my concerns as well. What do you think it mean?
Also, smoothy, I feel as if I am getting myself on a regular basis, Just to take the edge off. No, I am not acting on it. I am afraid of the consiquences, like Enigma said as far as inviting a phsyco into my bed and stds.
Surely, me going off to the bathroom at work just to get myself off in not normal, is it? Can anyone else tell me if they do it in public?
I understand that having fantisises is normal, I'm not worried about that. I am just worried about the way I am handeling it. and if I need help, then I will own up to it and get help. I do very much appreciate all of your input. I know, none of you know me, so it's hard to understand my thoughts.
You may have some slight impulse control issues, if this urge is interfering with getting your work done. When is your next appointment with your GYN? Mentioning this increased libido then would be wise.
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