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-   -   I slept with my gay best friend.what do I do? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=348628)

  • May 1, 2009, 09:59 PM
    AlmostBlue
    I slept with my gay best friend.what do I do?
    So the other night my friends and I were drinking. These two guys are my only friends here at college, so I guess you could call me their 'fag hag'. After me and my friend got kicked out of our other guy's dorm room for the night we went back to his dorm room to hang out. We were both really drunk, and I ended up fooling around and then giving him head... now things are really weird. I am okay with what happened, but he is avoiding me like the plague, and I don't know how to deal with it. We see each other a lot, because our other friend in this trio doesn't know about what happened.

    What should I do? These guys are so important to me, and I cannot lose one or the other...

    And I feel like we should tell our friend, because he knows something is up...

    Please help.
  • May 1, 2009, 10:21 PM
    lighterrr

    Well you should try talking to the guy that you had the incident with and see how he feels. From his reaction to you after the incident it seems as though he is equally uncomfortable about what happened. Let him know what his friendship means to you. How you would also like to work past this incident and remain friends. The two of you need to decide if you want to tell the third friend.
  • May 1, 2009, 11:13 PM
    AlmostBlue

    We did try talking... I really have no problem with what happened, but from the small conversation he is feels weird, because we are such close friends, and also he enjoyed it I think too much. He also feels that he took advantage of me... which is totally untrue, and I told him so. But nothing has seemed to change.
  • May 2, 2009, 09:18 AM
    lighterrr
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by AlmostBlue View Post
    We did try talking...I really have no problem with what happened, but from the small conversation he is feels weird, because we are such close friends, and also he enjoyed it I think too much. He also feels that he took advantage of me...which is totally untrue, and I told him so. But nothing has seemed to change.

    Well it seems as though he is confused:confused:, possible about his sexual orientation. You mentioned he is gay and he enjoyed being with you a female, so he may have a lot going on inside of himself and trying to figure out if he may be bisexual. I don't think its you, he's trying to put things into perspective and he seems to obviously value your friendship also, but does not how to react to you because of what happened give him time, once he figures it out hopefully he'll be back to his old self again.
  • May 2, 2009, 09:57 AM
    artlady

    I would just give it time.Since you have discussed it and he feels he took advantage,he is suffering from guilt.
    Ask him out for a couple beers and just try to get back to your old relationship.
    Make sure he knows how much the friendship means to you and tell him you feel like he is punishing you for the bj.
    Given time I am sure it will go back to the way it was.

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