My sister-in-law recently came to me for advice. I really didn't know what to tell her. She told me that she has never had sex with her boyfriend of 5 years. They have lived together and slept in the same bed for the last 4 years. She said that she had tried to encourage sex, but he always says no. He told her two different stories. First, he said that he had an ex girlfriend who was obsessed with sex and it made him afraid of sex. Then, he said he was against premarital sex. Then he said he was a virgin. So obviously, he was lying at least one time. He doesn't work, and she works two jobs to pay the rent. His parents are paying for his college, where he has been a full time student for 7 years and still doesn't have any degree whatsoever. She told me she thinks they haven't had sex because she feels she is fat and ugly. Nothing could be further from the truth. She is a beautiful person with a great personality. I am worried this relationship is damaging her self esteem. She said she would be fine with no sex, if they were engaged and waiting to be married. He has already said he doesn't want to get married anytime soon. She recently found some stuff on the computer. Apparently, he has been going to gay chat rooms and porn sites. She confronted him about this and he said that he isn't gay and it was for a school project. She told me she won't leave him for being a verbally abusive, unemployed, couch potato because she doesn't think she can get anyone else. What can I tell her to let her know that, whether she cares about sex or not, she deserves better than this guy? She is afraid to be alone. Does it sound like he could be gay? He has very strict parents who would be upset if he came out. I can't help but wonder if this is the case. Any ideas?