Wife horny, husband not so much.

Stac33 · #1 Jan 29, 2007, 11:43 AM

My husband and I are both 34 and have been married 14 1/2 yrs (together 17). I am finding that I am needing my husband to touch me sexually somehow everyday or I feel he doesn't want me. Or I think to myself wow it's been a week or whatever and we haven't had sex and I think maybe he doesn't want me anymore. I NEVER used to be like this, but for a little while now I have become obsessive about it. I am really wanting sex, but I am having a hard time initiating for fear of rejection. I know I shouldn't feel this way after all these years. I used to feel very confident in my relationship with him.

littlebunnyfoofoo · Feb 1, 2007, 06:38 AM

I understand where you are coming from. I am 25, and I have only been married for 6 months.. and things are already starting to go sour. I love my husband. I don't love our sex life. When he and I first started dating 5 years ago, we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. Now.. I am lucky if we do it once in a three week period.

I feel weird giving you advice, because I am in the same boat that you are in.. but communication is key. I flat out told my husband that this is the reason that people cheat on their spouses. If there is one person who has a higher sexual drive than their partner, it definitely makes things hard. Talk to him, and tell him that you want to be intimate. Be more forward, and start initiating it, if you have to. Some men find this to be a turn on. Talk to him.. Tell him your concerns.

I hope that this may have helped a little?

Stac33 · Feb 1, 2007, 11:13 AM

I have talked to my husband about this countless times. He says he wants to have more sex, but you couldn't tell by his actions. I KNOW I need to initiate it more, but i am very fearful of rejection.

letmetellu · Feb 1, 2007, 07:59 PM

I got a suggestion for you to try, I don't think it will do any harm and it might just help you. Most guys like to hear sexy things, so if something like this has never happened to you then lie to him and make something up. Tell his a story about watching a story on TV and it was so loving and sexy the way they treated each other that you could feel your self getting turned on and that you wished so much that he had been there that if he had been you would have more or less raped him. Tell his the the longer that you watched the show the hotter you got, even to the point that you caught yourself touching your breast, and at one point even had your hand down in your pants, but then decided that you would rather wait and have him when he got home.
I know this sort of things works because I can feel myself turned on a bit just from mentioning it to you.......Go Girl and good luck

Stac33 · Feb 28, 2007, 11:12 AM

Well I will try anything once( or twice). I know hearing me say stuff like that would turn him on, but I would like him to do things to turn me on too. I usually am, but an effort to get me off would be nice. I like to be talked to naughty and just plain like to be naughty. He used to be that way more, but now not so much.

kp2171 · Feb 28, 2007, 11:43 AM

stac

does he have issues with longevity? it happens. to be blunt, steel-piercing hard-ons are wasted on 16 year olds. =) i remember getting aroused by the bumpy school bus ride to school. ah well. so just one issue... i think its a gradual thing, but i can tell you my mental drive is a good as ever. physically, its ok enough, but nothing like what it was. im 35.

also you probably know all the other things that can reduce sex drive, such as stress, depression, lack of sleep, anxiety, high blood pressure, being unfit, etc...

not to mention its harder to find the time and mood if you have little ones running around. probably the biggest thing i face is the mental block from really not getting much time alone with my wife. sure, you can find time here and there, but its just not the same when you are trying to "get it done" before grandma brings the little one home. just another idea.

ive also found that when it doesnt seem like we can make the time my mind tries to shut it out so it doesnt drive me nuts.

we try to take at least one night every month or two and have a big date night... dinner, movie, hotel. it can help you reconnect, and maybe help you find the time in between to spend together.

amIwrong · Apr 28, 2008, 05:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stac33

My husband and I are both 34 and have been married 14 1/2 yrs (together 17). I am finding that I am needing my husband to touch me sexually somehow everyday or I feel he doesn't want me. Or I think to myself wow it's been a week or whatever and we haven't had sex and I think maybe he doesn't want me anymore. I NEVER used to be like this, but for a little while now I have become obsessive about it. I am really wanting sex, but I am having a hard time initiating for fear of rejection. I know I shouldn't feel this way after all these years. I used to feel very confident in my relationship with him.

check out the book "sex starved wife" on amazon



At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you will be able to: Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+ topics. Accept money for answers that you provide. Communicate privately with other members (PM). See fewer ads. Sign Up!