[datrult21]

Hey all, I am new to this site, but I am trying to look for answers about this situation as much as possible.

Recently, I have been talking to an extraordinary woman. This girl has everything she can have going for her. She is very well maintained, she already has her college degree, she is financially stable which can't be said for a lot of us, however, she is engaged.

I've known this girl since January. At first when I met her like every other guy, I thought to myself that she was really cute and I tried to flirt with her, but to no avail. Reason obviously is because she is engaged.

Within the last 5 weeks, we have started talking a lot. Just about life in general, and just talked about random things and what not. On May 1st, we had our first "real talk" and we were literary on the phone until 6 AM! In that conversation, we pretty much uncovered a lot about our lives. In the end, we realized that there is a strong connection between us, and that we both have an attraction towards each other.

To make a long story short, everything is evolving too fast. We have already had lunch together, we flirt, we talk, we joke. We've already told each other more and more about our attraction, but there's nothing truly that can be done because she is engaged. We haven't ruled out the possibility at the fact that something can happen physically between us, just because its natural. We both like each other.

This is the first time something like this since she has been with this guy. She has never felt this way. To be honest, I am deeply liking her more and more, and I know she is developing something deep based on the looks she gives me. You can just tell...

She tells me she hates talking to me about her wedding because it must hurt me or whatever.

Here is the thing, I really like her. She doesn't get married until next year. I really want her, and I can tell she is getting bored or aggravated with the whole wedding. I also believe she is getting pressured into being married by her parents, because based off her, she isn't ready to move out just yet.

What should I do? Should I go for it? My heart tells me yes, my gut tells me no. I know its wrong and I am going to hear backlash for this, but we share such a strong connection, that it just feels right! =\

Right now, based on my friends, half tell me yes, half tell me no.

[redhed35]

I'm assuming she a grown adult and can make up her own mind.

She said yes to marry someone else,if she is having doubts its up to her to call off the engagement.

As for you,back away and give her a chance to consider what it is she wants in her future,you may just be a fling for her.

My advice,stop seeing her,if she ends the engagement so be it,if she wants you,give her time to adjust to being single again and then if your both still interested go for it.

For now,she is cheating,emotionally and mentally,she has no business talking to you until 6 am when she is engaged,and your enabling the situation,there is certainly a pair of you in it.

Whatever happens at this stage someone is going to get seriously heartbroken,and I'm guessing its going to be you.

Let her make the decision without you in the picture.

[TrueFaith]

We can't control how we feel my friend, But we can control how we act

And you need to act like the strong one in this

Yes you have feelings for her.. but don't wait around for her to make up her mind,

If you really want to have anything with this women

My advice tell her That until you break off your so called relationship, then we can work on ours until then don't speak with her and break off contact

Because honestly the second she started to feel that way about you.. she should have thought long and hard about what she is getting herself into it

She should break it off for the guy.

Can you trust that she will be as Faithful to you? As she was to him?

You guys have not kissed yet which is a good thing feelings are normal but again actions counts here

Act in the right
Its Easy to give in and just go for it but my advice is
Leave her Alone
Until she finds out what she wants out of life.

Good luck

[Ther4peuticH3at]

Redhead is ABSOLUTELY right. Leave her alone, let her figure things out. If she calls off the engagement on her own, give her some time/space to find herself again. If, in the end, she comes back to you GREAT. This is truly the only "right" way to go about this. If you continue the way you are now, you will BOTH be in the wrong, and any relationship that spawns will have gotten off on the wrong foot.

[Jake2008]

While you have developed a relationship with her, she is betraying her fiancé, which doesn't speak well for either of you.

The fiancé in the meanwhile, figures everything is OK with the woman he loves to such a degree that he plans on marrying her. How would you feel in his shoes.

By the time a relationship gets to planning a wedding stage, there should be nobody on the side.

Why can't people control themselves, and realize that pursuing a relationship with a woman who is engaged, is the wrong thing to do. Three people in a relationship never works out. You don't have to pursue her, and she should not be pursuing you.

All I can tell you is what I think, honestly, about where this is going to go. If you keep it up with her, behind her fiances' back, that is not an honourable thing to do. If she indicates she wants to see more of you behind her fiance's back, that is also not an honourable thing to do.

She can't have her cake and eat it too.

You would be best, in my opinion, to be honest with her, and say that what you are doing is not right, because she is not available as long as she is committed to another. If and when she decides to call off the wedding, then she can give you a call.

Until then, she should be off limits.

[cindychick06]

"Recently, I have been talking to an extraordinary woman. This girl has everything she can have going for her. She is very well maintained, she already has her college degree, she is financially stable which can't be said for a lot of us, however, she is engaged."

"I also believe she is getting pressured into being married by her parents, because based off her, she isn't ready to move out just yet."


None of that make's since to me. So she is financially stable but doesn't want to move out of her parent's house? Sounds like she still may have some growing up to do then... Why would she feel it necessary to get married just to leave her parent's house. And if she is feeling pressured to get married than she needs to be a woman and stand up to her parent's and tell them she is not ready and doesn't want to get married.

I would agree with most everyone here, you can't help who you are attracted to but she is wrong for doing this to her fionce. And I don't think she want's to get married either by what you posted here, and I'm sure if she does it will most likely be a disaster ending in divorce if they are just engaged and she's already looking else where for companionship. You need to ask this girl what she is doing and what she want's out of her life because honestly it sounds like she doesn't really know... which is not something you want to get your heart involved in.

So just be honest with her. You can tell her that you like her and that you feel and attraction there but you need to ask her what it is that she want's and that you don't feel right doing this to her fionce. It may end whatever little fling you got going on right now but at least you will know what her intentions are. Good luck :D

[talaniman]

Don't let this female lead you down a very dark path, that will have more suffering than happiness.

You both have a lust that needs to be handled in more positive ways.

[positiveparent]

If you don't stop this now and do get involved at some point whilst she's engaged then consider this, if she can cheat on him with you, who will she cheat on you with?

[ZoeMarie]

I'm with everyone else on this one. Sometimes when you're in a situation it's harder to see the big picture. Sure you guys have a connection and have been talking and getting to know one another, but she's engaged. Tell her how you feel and then walk away. Obviously she isn't ready to get married or she wouldn't have gotten all wrapped up in this situation, but she needs to make the decision to walk away from her fiancé if she's not happy.