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smileandwave · May 15, 2010, 02:40 PM

The most common sexual disorder in men is premature ejaculation but with my boyfriend it is the complete opposite. I spent two hours stimulating him orally yesterday, TWO hours for him to end up making himself orgasm because I gave up and even then it took him like ten minutes when usually it takes around 2 minutes for a normal guy to orgasm when masturbating. We've had sex before and I've tried many things we've been together for 7 months and I still have not being able to make him reach orgasm. Any help?

Cat1864 · May 15, 2010, 03:30 PM

How old are both of you?

smileandwave · May 15, 2010, 03:34 PM

19 and 18

Fr_Chuck · May 15, 2010, 03:35 PM

Does he masterbate often ?

smileandwave · May 15, 2010, 03:41 PM

Not very often but he said he did three days ago and he was also timing himself to see if he could make himself come faster but it didn't work

Cat1864 · May 15, 2010, 04:02 PM

Originally Posted by smileandwave

not very often but he said he did three days ago and he was also timing himself to see if he could make himself come faster but it didnt work

Well, timing yourself while masturbating would probably make it last longer because you aren't as into the sensations.

What is 'normal' for one person may not be normal for another.

I am going out on a limb and suggesting that maybe he isn't allowing himself to be full involved in the moment. It sounds like he is either concentrating on too many things or easily distracted or a combination of the two.

Another factor might be how aroused is he is. How much time was spent on foreplay?

artlady · May 15, 2010, 05:12 PM

If you guy does any drinking or drugs that will numb him,it will take some time.
He is either over masturbating or he is doing medication that is making him less sensitive.
Bottom line,it isn't supposed to be a chore. For you ,hours on end.Not me !
Tell him to take care of himself when your sore and bored :)

QLP · May 15, 2010, 06:50 PM

Wow after 2 hrs of oral I'd expect you to have lockjaw!

Has he always been this way do you know? Does he seem keen on sex and just have a problem with orgasm or does it take a lot to get him interested? What contraception are you using?

creahands · May 15, 2010, 07:16 PM

Is he messing with the little blue pill? This will prolong the act.

Chuck

LJDK · May 17, 2010, 02:10 AM

I think he is not being honest about the masturbation. Even if he is, he is doing it wrong. Too hard, too long. Desensitizing his member. It takes up to 3 weeks of no masturbation before returning to normal.

I was there once. And then, even just masterbating once would cause me to not reach climax via sex or oral for up to a month.

Even today I cannot reach climax via oral. It feels good, but my mind does not register oral with orgasms. Intercourse yes.

My 2 cents.

smileandwave · May 17, 2010, 05:41 PM

No he does not do any drugs whatsoever. And he's always been like this. He gets aroused easily and excited easily and everything works perfectly fine. It's getting him to orgasm that's the problem. Not even by having sex has he been able to so far. How does the contraception matter though? XD

Wait so he shouldn't masturbate and maybe that would help?

anteccomp · May 17, 2010, 06:07 PM

Wow, 2 hours - that's commitment! I've never gone nearly that long! I am thinking that past 1/2hr or 45 minutes, there it no sense in continuing since he's probably trying so hard to finish that it's not going to happen.

I had a partner once who made such a big deal about me having an orgasm that I found it more difficult to do so because the expectations were so high. He probably feels bad that all your effects aren't allowing him to reach an orgasm and is focusing in on this rather than just enjoying himself. I suggest that you both do your best to forget about orgasms and just enjoy the moment and hopefully that will lead to an orgasm. Good luck!

BTW, is he cut? For what I understand that can have an impact on his sensitivity..

Cat1864 · May 17, 2010, 06:16 PM

Originally Posted by smileandwave

no he does not do any drugs whatsoever. and he's always been like this. he gets aroused easily and excited easily and everything works perfectly fine. it's getting him to orgasm that's the problem. not even by having sex has he been able to so far. how does the contraception matter though? xD

wait so he shouldnt masturbate and maybe that would help?

Some men have problems with condoms reducing sensitivity to the point where they can't get enough sensation to climax. Some types can cause a lot of lubrication that also reduces the sensations.

I have a question is he having problems ejaculating or climaxing or both? Men can have an orgasm without ejaculating.

Is he enjoying the journey or focusing on the destination?

smileandwave · May 17, 2010, 06:36 PM

He is cut so that's not it. And since he, sadly, knows he probably won't orgasm he doesn't care about it and focuses on the sensations and the moment. We've tried with and without condoms, orally. And ejaculating.. he's done it only once while with me and that was the 2 hour occasion I meantioned before and it was because he ended up masturbating and he did climax. So I'm guessing the problem is climaxing?

anteccomp · May 18, 2010, 05:45 PM

Actually, I meant if he is cut, it can decrease the sensitivity of his penis, making it more difficult to orgasm. I've heard that the chafing from wearing boxers can further decrease sensitivity. Just a thought...
This sounds very frustrating for you both. Perhaps if he masturbates to climax after intercourse or oral, you could learn something from his technique? Is it really fast or a particular motion? Good luck!