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Never had an orgasm
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He is the love of my life and I can't imagine life without him. But before me his ex fiancé cheated on him. As a result he has virtually no sexual confidence and often my time is taken up with reassuring him. It is perhaps for this reason that I can never truly relax during sex. And it is perhaps for this reason that I have never had an orgasm - not even a clitoral one.
I came close to having one through penetration once, but that was it. Is there actually something physically wrong with me? Is there something mentally wrong with me? Or is he just really that in bed? Please make your answers relatively kind, as I'm very sensitive about this issue. Thanks |
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Rest assured it's not physical or your fault in any way.
You've basically been "spooked" to put it lightly. If you have all these thoughts going through your mind prior/during/after sex it'll definitely interfere with your ability to have an orgasm. His own lack of confidence is going to have an affect on the both of you too. The mind plays a major role during sex and those who go beyond your typical and extremely boring "romp" already know this. Let's compare it to an artist trying to paint a beautiful picture, he/she has to focus on the moment and nothing more. Fully aware and senses alive the artist is free to let themselves go and create beauty. Now think again about this artist trying to paint with a bunch of crap clogging up their thoughts while they are trying to paint. Obviously our friend the artist won't be making any masterpieces anytime soon. Now as for your boyfriend's self confidence that's something he's going to have to learn to build up. Do you two get into foreplay much? Never underestimate the power (and pleasure) of foreplay. There's also the inclusion of toys, you don't have to go crazy but maybe something simple like a small vibrator to experiment with. Have him combine the two, experiment but remember not to make it a chore. Do your best to remain calm, relaxed, focus on the moment not everything else. |
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