[ma had gul]

One late night I woke up to find my hubby in his email looking at a picture of a woman spread eagle no draws. He tells me he's just sending pics not cheatin, he's sending pics of his naked lower half. This is the 3rd time. Can anybody tell me what this is about MAD GUL... CAUSE I'm MAD AS HELL:mad:

[IWHO]

Ummmm, hate to be the bearer of bad news... but he is "cybering"... cheating online... sending pics is just part of it... usually there are Instant Messages (IMs) where people carry on sexually related conversations and masturbate at the same time... not saying he has gone that far, but to be trading sexually explicit pictures tells me he's gone pretty far with those women...

[liz28]

He is up to no good. Sending and receiving naked photos of himself and from girls through email says a lot. It isn't like he is viewing photos online.

I would be mad as hell to you. What does he say about his actions?

[nikosmom]

The thing you have to ask yourself is do you think he'd act on it if the woman is local?

He's cheating online. Not okay. Especially if you've told him it hurts you. You're married to him so no one other than you or his doctor should be seeing his private parts.

You need to sit down and [try to] have a rational conversation with him about your feelings and why he feels the need to do this. Do you feel that the relationship is stale?

Don't let him use excuses for doing this.

I agree with Iwho, that more than likely he's probably also had some pretty explicit conversations with these women. Think about it: I'm sure he didn't just get random naked pics of women. More importantly- why is he on the internet trolling for women if he has one at home?

[Gemini54]

You've every right to be mad as hell.

You need to have a talk - when you're not mad as hell - and find out what's going on.

Who, what, when, and why.

Who is he doing it with and how did he meet her?
What is he sending apart from pictures, e.g. emails, etc?
When is he doing it, is it just happening at night, when you're in bed, or at other times?
Why is he doing it?

I agree with the others - this is serious stuff.

[Alty]

There are people who are married that allow this type of thing, but if you don't have an agreement about this then yes, he's cheating.

You need to tell him how you feel and tell him that you want him to stop.

If he refuses then you have to wonder why.

[pureheart]

Honey get away as fat as you can, I don't know how long you have been married but is this the thank's you get! But then again are you doing your part to make him happy, stop and think what the situation is.

[shazamataz]

Waaaaay out of line...
How do you know it isn't just pictures?
I class dirty chatting without my knowledge cheating.
You need to tell him how serious this is and what will happen if he doesn't stop!

[Blondy24]

This is cheating, he is sharing the picture of what is yours with other women, you have to tell him how you feel about it and if he doesn't quit, divorce is the answer.

[smoothy]

In a general sense I don't thinks its all that good of an idea to be sending naked pics back and forth willy nilly.

This is a grey area as far as I'm concerned. Its not cheating unless she is local or something far deeper is going on. But its not 100% benign either. Lot depends on the contents of those emails. Do you have any idea what they were about.

[Blondy24]

In a general sense I don't thinks its all that good of an idea to be sending naked pics back and forth willy nilly.

This is a grey area as far as I'm concerned. Its not cheating unless she is local or something far deeper is going on. But its not 100% benign either. Lot depends on the contents of those emails. Do you have any idea what they were about.

I can just guess what the e-mails were about if they send naked pics to one another

[smoothy]

I can just guess what the e-mails were about if they send naked pics to one another

You might be surprised... there doesn't HAVE to be any real hanky panky going on just because naked photos were beign exchanged, Some people are natural exhibitionists and others vouyers. Hard to guess on that without knowing what discussions were taking place.

[ElleWoods]

I hate to share this but I will... I caught my ex-husband doing this when we were married. I asked him to stop. I then found out a year later that he was having an affair with our neighbor, who by the way, WAS my best friend.
(notice I said ex husband... we were married at the time and were together for 19 years.)

This type of behaviour leads to nothing but bad results down the road.

If you aren't willing to ditch him, maybe request he stops and try some new things with him in bed. Maybe he needs variety.

I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

[chrissymarie]

I'd suggest a serious conversation with him in which you express how you feel and lyou ask him how'd he feel. I'm sure this is not your only problem in you marriage. The connection you 2 have is falling somewhere because he's cyberin(flirting with other women).

If he respects you he will stop, if he won't then that's another problem.

[Fuzzball_Kara]

Just because he's cybering doesn't necessarily mean you or the marriage is the problem, so I'd have to respectfully disagree with some of you, but it does mean that he may have a problem. Try to approach him in a calm matter and talk to him about this. Find out why he is. Ask him that if he didn't think it was cheating then why was he doing it without telling you and it sounds like he may have been hiding it.. It's something that I have never understood-- why sometimes people hide some things if they don't think they are doing anything wrong. (not in all situations, but a lot)

[IWHO]

I wouldn't say "Get a divorce" but I WOULD say that your marriage needs help... I have spent a lot of time in AOL chatrooms, and what I hear most of the men say about cybering is that the reason they cyber (not with me, mind you-they are chatting in a ROOM when they say this) is that they are lacking intimacy at home... not that they don't love their wives, but that they don't get enough intimacy from them... maybe take a look at your intimacy level and see if it needs adjusting... maybe spice things up a bit... show him more attention... romantic attention... and don't plan it... that's boring... maybe try to be sexier while you cook, while you hang around the house... bend over seductively when you are near him... entice him... but in a subtle way... I bet he would shut down that computer and jump your bones...

[Blondy24]

I wouldn't say "Get a divorce" but I WOULD say that your marriage needs help....I have spent a lot of time in AOL chatrooms, and what I hear most of the men say about cybering is that the reason they cyber (not with me, mind you-they are chatting in a ROOM when they say this) is that they are lacking intimacy at home....not that they don't love their wives, but that they don't get enough intimacy from them....maybe take a look at your intimacy level and see if it needs adjusting..... maybe spice things up a bit....show him more attention... romantic attention....and don't plan it...that's boring....maybe try to be sexier while you cook, while you hang around the house....bend over seductively when you are near him....entice him....but in a subtle way....I bet he would shut down that computer and jump your bones.....

Lol, ignore my answer, I totally agree with you.

[artlady]

Unplug the computer and have a long conversation about what the rules are in your marriage.Sometimes after people have been married for some time they forget and need to be reminded in no uncertain terms!

[Jake2008]

Just wondering if this was a porn magazine instead of a computer screen, and he was pleasuring himself afterward, is that the same, worse, or not as bad as doing it onscreen to a stranger.

Maybe this is just the modern day version of porn, only it's interactive?

[shazamataz]

Just wondering if this was a porn magazine instead of a computer screen, and he was pleasuring himself afterward, is that the same, worse, or not as bad as doing it onscreen to a stranger.

Maybe this is just the modern day version of porn, only it's interactive?

Personally I would take the porn 100 times over compared to that.
You can't interact with a porn magazine.. he is interacting with this lady as they are exchanging pictures.