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wonderingparent · Mar 26, 2009, 03:20 PM

I am at a loss as who is to provide what for an abandoned child. He is 17 and still goes to school (he is a junior). He asked his ex step dad for 15 dollars. I think that is crazy. What about his mom or dad? His mom lives off her sister and mooches money from other people. His dad lives in the same county but they tell me he is worthless. I told him to call them and tel them what he needs but he won't even try. What can this kid do to get support from at least one of his parents? Will the Welfare department step in and make one of them own up or what? Its not cheap to just take in a kid and pay for them and I think his slacker parents should own up. What steps do I need to do to help him get his parents to pay for what he needs?

ScottGem · Mar 26, 2009, 03:24 PM

More details are needed. First who are you to him? Second, who does he live with? Third, what state does he reside in? Fourth. Has a court ordered any custody/support?

wonderingparent · Mar 27, 2009, 05:54 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

More details are needed. First who are you to him? Second, who does he live with? Third, what state does he reside in? Fourth. has a court ordered any custody/support?

I am just a place for him to stay until school ends. If he is pawned off to someone he wouldn't be able to finish the last 6 weeks of school here and didn't want to change schools. His ex step dad already arranged for free lunches at school since the boy has no money. We were trying to help him get his drivers license but it wouldn't do much good if he didn't even have a car to get to job. He was living with his step dad because his mom took off and left state. It was agreed he could stay there but since then the ex step dad decided to move. His mom came back and won't get a job (mooching off everyone). He lives in Indiana. Last I knew his mom had custody of him. Not sure on any child support. I told the boy surely there is something you can do cause its just crazy that his dad has his sister living there but doesn't do a thing for him.

ScottGem · Mar 27, 2009, 06:00 AM

The only thing I can see is turning this over to children's services.

artlady · Mar 27, 2009, 07:21 AM

You may be able to take him in as a temporary foster child and you would be paid by the state for his care.

He could also apply for emergency public assistance.

JudyKayTee · Mar 27, 2009, 07:34 AM

I've posted this before - my neighbor has the same situation with a 12 year old. Both parents simply left her with a family friend and my neighbor took her in. She gets no support, no State subsidy, nothing. When she went to the Court to file she was told IF the child is a ward of the State, then the State will pursue the parents. Otherwise my neighbor has no legal standing. She supports this child totally unaided in these rough times but will not turn her over to "the system."

Some people are angels.

wonderingparent · Mar 30, 2009, 07:58 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Some people are angels.

I agree. I would hate to turn him over to the state. Then he might not get to finish school here. I just wondering if there was help for him to be on his own because he will be 18 soon but really he is still a high school student if you know what I mean, no job and going to school, and no drivers license or car makes it tough. Thanks for everyone's help. A new development in the case... his mom moved out of state this weekend. Had her brother come and get her and left. Didn't even bother to tell him goodbye. He stayed with some friends from school and I don't know if he even knows yet until he gets home from school today.

AlpineAnnie · Mar 30, 2009, 10:09 AM

We have done the same thing at our house - twice. We just kept them as if they were one of our kids - same rules - same benefits and a little more water in the soup. One of the two is still in the family at age 25 and the other one comes around occasionally. Can he continue living with you until he's able to manage on his own? Is your house/home better for him than the state system? (no disrespect intended at all). More like - can you provide for him the basic essentials along with guidelines to follow to help him be the best adult he can be? How do other teens near you have jobs without a car? A driver's license is still a good idea even without a car. Is there public transportation nearby? Could you take him to work and pick him up if he had a part-time job? Then you can help him save some from his paychecks and have him contribute towards his upkeep now while he's living with you. He's obviously had a rough road but if you can make it easier that would be great. Family has nothing to do with DNA. I am the proud grandmother of our "son"'s baby and the bio mom is only spoken of by first name. If you can't provide for him then maybe the State should be brought into the picture. I live close to you - and I guess I've got room for another one if you aren't able - :D

I wish you and him a ton of luck. It seems a bit thankless at times - but he will be a much better person for having you in his life.

Fr_Chuck · Mar 30, 2009, 10:13 AM

I have taken in kids for a short time many times, It is hard dealing with the state

wonderingparent · Mar 30, 2009, 10:41 AM

Originally Posted by AlpineAnnie

I wish you and him a ton of luck. It seems a bit thankless at times - but he will be a much better person for having you in his life.

Well I called CPS to see what we can do to help him get ready to live on his own, and help he can go get and this state is about crazy as a loon. He is not abandoned because someone is willing to take care of him. They can't make the parents pay which is crazy because my SO has to pay child support. They told me at the end of school I can call them and tell them I am unable or unwilling to take care of him and they will place him in a foster home. He can't be placed back with me because that is not how it works. Now when he turns 18 I can take him up to the Welfare office and sign him up for food stamps and medicad.

Guess I don't understand the system and how you can drop a child off or leave them with someone and never come back and never have to pay another dime for them but yet people are going to jail for non support of a child and struggling to make ends meet when they have to fork more then half their check over to the mother. I mean seriously what the difference when the dad walks out and leaves his kids with their mother? Ah well prob a whole new topic LOL.

Thanks again for everyone's help!

JudyKayTee · Mar 30, 2009, 10:42 AM

Originally Posted by wonderingparent

I agree. I would hate to turn him over to the state. Then he might not get to finish school here. I just wondering if there was help for him to be on his own because he will be 18 soon but really he is still a high school student if you know what I mean, no job and going to school, and no drivers license or car makes it tough. Thanks for everyones help. A new development in the case...his mom moved out of state this weekend. Had her brother come and get her and left. Didn't even bother to tell him goodbye. He stayed with some friends from school and I don't know if he even knows yet until he gets home from school today.

I am the first to complain about personal advice/info on the legal board BUT you are one of those angels - you really are. Once he's an adult, well, then you can make contact with the State but I get the feeling it will be a waste of time.

Again, without people like my neighbor and you...

And, yes, this is out of place on the legal board.