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bonniepallay2 · Mar 4, 2009, 08:32 AM

I am in a fairly new relationship of about 8 months. Him and I had awesome sex with extended intercourse where both him and I had an orgasm at the same time. Now he has an orgasm so fast that I don't get mine... I am dismayed at the change. What can be going on?

spitvenom · Mar 4, 2009, 08:41 AM

Not to get to personal but is it every time you have sex now he finishes first?

bonniepallay2 · Mar 4, 2009, 08:51 AM

Yes, it is every time lately?

spitvenom · Mar 4, 2009, 08:56 AM

I know when I would lose interest in a girl I was with the sex become a chore and I would just want to get it finished as fast as I could. Have you noticed if he is spending less time with you or if he is not as loving or caring as he use to be?

bonniepallay2 · Mar 4, 2009, 09:01 AM

Actually we cuddle and hold each other a lot... hes very affectionate...

spitvenom · Mar 4, 2009, 09:07 AM

Hmmm then throw that idea out the window. Has anything changed like maybe he is using a thinner condom (thats assuming you use condoms) and he is not use to the sensation? Are you doing something new and it really drives him crazy and he just finishes fast because it feels really good? More foreplay at the beginning? You don't actually have to answer these questions they are more for you to think about.

smoothy · Mar 4, 2009, 11:15 AM

At only 8 months you haven't even established a real relationship yet. Much less have time to lose one you wish to get back.

MsEmily · Mar 4, 2009, 02:52 PM

Everyone changes during a relationship. Although there really isn't enough information to have the whole story here, there could be many reasons he's finishing first. You should also know, that's not unusual at all. More often, couples do not orgasm at the same time. Maybe you could consider shaking things up a bit and have the two of you bring you to orgasm first, and then him. You won't feel that you were left out, and he still gets to orgasm also.

You mentioned that you both cuddle a lot, and that's good. Be willing to have intimate moments that involve touching and kissing without sex or orgasm being the goal.

smalltowngal · Mar 5, 2009, 04:35 PM

Have you talked to him about it? Sex and talking go hand in hand. Why is it important that you both orgasm at the same time? If you are both enjoying it and are both committed to the idea of helping the other achieve that orgasm, then who cares who gets off first? Does he help you reach orgasm after he has his? If not, he will simply have to be more concerned with your needs. It wouldn't be fair otherwise. Have you tried using toys? Sometimes they can help. I find if my husband gives me more manual stimulation before the intercourse, it seems to help me a lot.