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    dipa123's Avatar
    dipa123 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 30, 2009, 06:55 AM
    I am a victim of child abuse
    I am an Indian female of 23 years old.. I was molested and sexually abused during my childhood by my cousin and brother. I couldn't say anything to anyone at that time bcos I was scared. That incident has left me with severe depression and hatered towards people and recently I came to know that even my sister got molested and abused by my father itself.This made me even more fearfull and I lost trust in people. In this period I met a guy with who I fell in love bcos their family is so ideal that they share lots of love and affection among themselves and I want to marry him but my father is totally opposite to this and arranging marriage with an other guy and I fear to marry an unknown guy.I told all my fears to my mom and dad but still they are against to my wish. Please suggest me what should I do.How can I go legally in this critical situation.I'm a christian and the guy I love is a Hindu (brahmin). My father show bible and say that a christian should never marry a non believer. But I find only humanity is more greater than any religion bcos of all the childhood incidents. What can I do now.Please do sujjest.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Jan 30, 2009, 06:59 AM

    Being from America it is hard to put things into concepts with your culture. Here you would marry who you wanted because you can.

    I will say that you need counseling to work though the abuse issues or it will effect any and all relationships.

    If you marry who you want, it will ruin your relationship with your family but I will ask, do you even want a relationship with them because of the abuse issues
    tezz's Avatar
    tezz Posts: 35, Reputation: 3
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    #3

    Aug 11, 2009, 04:17 PM

    I think that you should follow your heart and do what it's telling you to do.

    You should marry a man that you truly feel comfortable with and can understand the fact that you were abused.

    Remember... LOVE is all that matters, and love overcomes everything :)

    Being a Christian myself, I believe that it's a Christians choice whether they marry a non believer.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #4

    Aug 11, 2009, 07:04 PM
    You must get help to deal with all these issues. India is the biggest democracy in the world, surely there are women's resources, counselling etc. If you are near a university, seek out the guidance of counsellors there. Search your public listings for counsellors, women's shelters, and organizations that can assist you, with the abuse issues, and the pressure your parents are putting you under to marry a man not of your choosing.

    You do not have to agree to an arranged marriage. If you choose to do so, that is up to you. But, as has already been said, with the horrible history you have suffered at the hands of your family, do you really need to decide to allow them to dictate who you are to be married to? What happens when children come along. You will be fearful of their safety with your family, and rightly so. You learned that you were not the only one abused, and you need to stop this cycle before it hits another generation.

    You need to marry the man you love. Period.
    Kadehadaire's Avatar
    Kadehadaire Posts: 197, Reputation: 10
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    #5

    Aug 12, 2009, 06:13 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by dipa123 View Post
    My father show bible and say that a christian should never marry a non believer.
    Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

    I am a Christian. My husband is an Atheist. We are very happy.

    I honestly think people get it so wrong sometimes. God would want us to be happy - to live the life he gave us.

    Live it. Choose love. Live for no-one's happiness but YOURS.

    God bless sweetie.

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