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    msmith0369's Avatar
    msmith0369 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 13, 2009, 12:42 AM
    Relationship problems due to lack of sex
    Hi, I am 27 years old and my boyfriend is 26. We have been dating a little over 2 years now.
    Just over the last 6 months he has lost all interest in me sexually. When I ask him why, his response is that I am not nice enough to him, and that I have used him as a punching bag. I admit that I have taken out my anger and frustrations on him due to the death of my father, uncle, grandfather and having a life-long pet put down all in the course of a year. I never meant to use him as my "punching bag" and have verbally apologized more than once. I am at the end of my road and don't know which way to turn. I have questioned him on whether he is even in love me anymore. His answer is that I am the only one he wants to be with for the rest of his life and he loves me very much. I feel that I have caused too much damage to repair, and I feel so down all the time that I have lost interest in doing anything but working, eating and sleeping(lots of sleeping).
    I would greatly appreciate any advice on how to mend things with the love of my life, and how to make him want me sexually as he once did.
    jmw0713's Avatar
    jmw0713 Posts: 1,012, Reputation: 305
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    #2

    Jan 13, 2009, 07:47 AM

    Have you tried talking to a doctor or a psychologist about your situation. Losing all those family member in such a short period takes a huge emotional toll. This can sometimes lead to things like depression. So I would talk to a professional about that, because depression can cause serious havoc in all relationships.

    As far as apologizing to your BF, I have to say actions speak louder than words. You have to show him through your actions that you still love him. Maybe surprise him with a romantic meal at home, or surprise him by putting on something sexy. Take him out to do something he loves to do... something that says "I really do love you." Then if he asks, explain to him why you are doing this, and be sincere and honest.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Jan 13, 2009, 07:55 AM

    Was he supportive of you when you were going through your difficulties?
    plonak's Avatar
    plonak Posts: 742, Reputation: 117
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    #4

    Jan 13, 2009, 12:37 PM

    I think that's a good question that Taliman posed..

    Did he help you through your hard times?

    Im not sure of how much you "beat him up" but I would hope that your significant other was the least bit understanding of your emotional hardship, if not, then maybe you should step aside and re-evaluate the relationship some

    Life throws hardships at us all the time and if you two can't stick together through them, then what's the point in staying together?

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