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    shanashmontdum's Avatar
    shanashmontdum Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 5, 2008, 02:18 PM
    My boyfriend gets hard all the time
    Every time me and my boyfriend kiss he gets a hard on even if it is a short kiss goodbye, he likes let me know by pressing himself up against me... this is my first relationship so I am unsure if this normal or is all he is interested in is having sex with me?
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #2

    Nov 5, 2008, 02:37 PM

    HOw old are you?
    shanashmontdum's Avatar
    shanashmontdum Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Nov 5, 2008, 02:42 PM
    I am 18 and he is 24
    SimpleguyJoe's Avatar
    SimpleguyJoe Posts: 302, Reputation: 68
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    #4

    Nov 5, 2008, 02:55 PM

    Well that's quite the difference eh? 6 years, he is 1/3rd older than you not to mention this is your first relationship. Maybe you have some thinking to do if this is what you really want in the first place?

    But to get to your question. Different guys get hard at different levels of contact and excitement. Some with just a little kiss or hug and others not until later. Lets just say milage may very :). But I do think it's a little weird to be rubbing it up against you lol.

    Are you guys already a sexually intimate?
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
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    #5

    Nov 5, 2008, 02:55 PM

    That's the way it went when I was young... he is showing you he is hot for you.

    If you feel like you are too young to handle going any further, you don't have to.

    Has he tried to form a social relationship with you? Taken you on dates? Sat around and talked with you and your parents for awhile? If not, he probably just wants to have sex with you.
    aaj2008's Avatar
    aaj2008 Posts: 139, Reputation: 7
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    #6

    Nov 5, 2008, 02:59 PM

    6 years is not a big difference... and if you are 18.. you should already know the answer to this question. I'm guessing that you are not 18.
    Xrayman's Avatar
    Xrayman Posts: 1,177, Reputation: 193
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    #7

    Nov 5, 2008, 05:04 PM

    To be frank I would be trying to tell you you how much you turn me on by rubbing up against you as well, I would also say that this is a message to you that he in fact does want sex with you, especially since you are 18 and he is 24.

    Either agree to have sex, or disagree, either way perhaps ask him what his intention is with this "activity" when he does it, then decide if you can cope/react to the answer he gives you.
    linnealand's Avatar
    linnealand Posts: 1,088, Reputation: 216
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    #8

    Nov 6, 2008, 05:23 AM

    I'm not totally sure what your perception is on all of this, so I'll try to lay this out as basically as possible.

    Being attracted to you in a way that results in your boyfriend being physically turned on means that his body wants to have sex with you. The rest of him, meaning his mind, probably wants to have sex with you too, but I'm sure it's willing to wait for the proper time. The fact that he's hard does not mean that you have to have sex right then.

    As choux expressed, he's showing off to you. He wants you to know that you've turned him on. In his mind, it's a compliment. He's telling you that you're really attractive to him. Part of him might also be saying that he wants you to feel him because he's proud of what he has. That's not a bad thing. I am sure he's hoping that this kissing will eventually lead to other things, and it's usually the sooner the better. You just do what's right for you. You're still very young, and there's no need to rush into anything you're not ready for. If your boyfriend has your best interests in mind, he'll wait for the right time. The fact that he is involved with a girl your age could easily mean that he will have to accept a slower pace than he might otherwise assume.

    While you might think the kiss might be the only stimulus, just remember that men are also very visual creatures. He might have already been getting excited just by thinking about you, from looking at you, or from liking what you were wearing. The kiss could just be an extra step that gets him there.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #9

    Nov 6, 2008, 05:44 AM

    I'll agree too that there is a lot more going on here than she might think. 6 years at that age window is a HUGE difference. Not just years but there is a HUGE difference in maturity levels at that time. He is most obviously wanting her in the sack... and she's got to be fully prepared to listen to incessant pushing for her to put out.

    He's already made that abundently clear with him pushing himself on you in this way.

    If that's not what you want reconsider something exclusive with him. But I promise you he is going to be begging, pleading, and worse in a short time.

    If I had done that to dates I would have gotten smacked upside my head.
    Amydawn12354's Avatar
    Amydawn12354 Posts: 16, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Nov 6, 2008, 09:37 PM
    Yeah, it definitely sounds normal to me. Guys are always getting hard. It's like their way of life, lol. Especially if you just started this relationship, he's going to be hard even more. Don't worry about it. The only guys who aren't like hard a lot are the ones who are on drugs or are just old.
    Handyman2007's Avatar
    Handyman2007 Posts: 988, Reputation: 73
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    #11

    Dec 21, 2008, 09:55 AM

    From the time a guy is about 12 until death, they get erections unconsciously. It's just biology. The younger, the faster and more often it happens. Puberty is pure hell for guys. If he is 24, it is normal. IF you are 18, well, he is reacting normally. Just be careful.
    epetrie's Avatar
    epetrie Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Dec 22, 2008, 05:32 PM

    Unfortunately it's a hormone thing. Guys in there early 20's are naturally ready to breed. linnealand is correct, his hormones are playing hell and can not be controlled. I remember my early 20's and one girl in particular drove me nuts. I only had to hold her hand and I'd get an erection, really embarrassing.

    Mind you, I tried to hide it, where as your guy is rubbing it against you. Some girls like to know what they can do to a man but some others hate it. It depends on what you like.

    If you don't like it... tell him to back off a little.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
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    #13

    Dec 22, 2008, 06:19 PM
    All the above.

    I believe he feels both real relief from applying pressure and he is also pressing himself against you to make you clearly aware of his aroused state, and probably he is hoping you find his arousal, well, arousing.

    Some may disagree with the "relief" angle, but I don't care one bit. If I am strongly aroused and I know my mate isn't going to be interested or able to have sex, pressure applied by myself or by her can genuinely help deal with the issue.

    An erection occurs and is sustained by increased blood flow to the genitals, and at the same time that region experiences constriction of the vessels and muscular contraction to boot. So you have greater blood volume in constricted vessels. If this occurs for an extended time a person can feel extreme pressure. A similar description can be found for tension headaches.

    Yes... we've argued over and over about whether a man can experience pain due to an erection without relief from stimulation. The answer is yes. Period. Been there, done that. Its possible. Real. And not just a mental condition or sly excuse to guilt a woman into paying him physical attention.

    A woman can supposedly feel similar pressure at the vulva with engorgement.

    Now...

    Do guys use the "blue ball" excuse to try to get a sympathetic response from a woman? Sure! absolutely! Having strong and frequent erections around you shows he is quite aroused, so its no great revelation that he might try this to get a little relief. Just because the condition can cause unpleasant pressure doesn't mean a guy won't try to use that age old excuse to get sexual satisfaction.

    A person can be honestly too tired physically and/or mentally for sex... likewise a person can use an excuse of being tired to avoid sex. Same goes for vasoconstriction that results in possible discomfort that is relieved with pressure or sexual activity... it can be real or it can be used as an excuse.

    His being hard, and even physically bothered, is no excuse to guilt you into pleasuring him. Guilting you into escalating your physical relationship because he wants relief isn't acceptable.

    But, as I said, more than one morning I've woke next to my lover primed and more than a little bothered. A little pressure against her can do wonders whether sex occurs or not.
    PurpLePassion's Avatar
    PurpLePassion Posts: 29, Reputation: 2
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    #14

    Dec 25, 2008, 05:55 PM

    Lol! I know exactly what you mean...

    Does he talk about sex and stuff though?
    A_Friend's Avatar
    A_Friend Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Dec 28, 2008, 11:21 AM

    It's absolutely normal and the feeling / perception that you get out of it is natural. That's the way it is!

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