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banhbao21 · May 24, 2008, 06:31 PM

Well before I knew that she had sex with one guy. But she now tells me its 3. 2 of them were kind of forced on her and 1 was out of love. What really made me mad was one of them knew she took meds for her sickness, took her to the movies, and him and his friend gave her a ride home. I guess the took the medicine and when she woke up she was bottomless. I'm not really mad at her but still it just bothers me a lot to know that this has happened to her just pisses me off. And lately I've been stressing out a lot about this and other things. To be honest, I am nowhere near to leaving her just because of this. Its just that those thoughts have been running through my head a lot and every time I think about it, it pisses me off so bad. I love this girl sooo much and I really don't want to let her go. I don't want her to be hurt like she has been in the past. I knew this girl had liked me and I did too for 3 years. Its just because I was really shy back then I guess. Sometimes I just feel like its my fault that she's gone through this. I came 3 years too late :[

confused1145 · May 24, 2008, 07:25 PM

First of all, what happened to her is not your fault. I know that you don't like the idea of the things that have happened to her in the past, but I don't think leaving her will help. You say that you love her and don't want her hurt anymore so my advice is for you to stick by her and for the two of you to talk about any problems or concerns.She's had a rough past and needs someone in her life that will show her the love and support that she needs and deserves.

talaniman · May 24, 2008, 07:27 PM

Sometimes I just feel like its my fault that she's gone through this. I came 3 years too late

Sorry for what she and you, have been through, but blaming yourself can do you no good, but to keep feeding the anger. For her sake and yours, let go, and move forward with love, compassion, and understanding. Comfort her pain, not feed your own.

Shordy V · May 25, 2008, 02:44 AM

Look I'm not going to be all sweet and crap, I'm going to tell you like it is; blaming yourself, that's just bull cause you know that you couldn't have stopped it even if you wanted to. Happens and there is nothing that anyone can do about it. If you truly love her than that's good. The only thing is if your staying with her out of guilt or pity your going to have a lot of anger. You would just hurting your relationship, and the problems that you have now can only get worse. You just need to be supportive in anyway she may need it. But do know that some people play the victim all to well so make sure that your with her for the right reasons and not just to protect her. Cause believe you-me, you can't always be there.

Super Allie · May 25, 2008, 06:54 AM

This is just so typical of men. If your girlfriend is with some guys before she meets you, then you think this is the worst thing possible, but it's a different story for girls who guys are with before meeting.

DOUBLE STANDARDS!!

talaniman · May 25, 2008, 07:23 AM

Originally Posted by Super Allie

This is just so typical of men. If your girlfriend is with some guys before she meets you, then you think this is the worst thing possible, but it's a different story for girls who guys are with before meeting.

DOUBLE STANDARDS!!!

Your correct, and we call that baggage, and a lot of considerations on if you can handle another's past has to be made.

devcardsfan · May 25, 2008, 10:19 AM

;) I am just really curious... how many women have YOU been with before her?

mrchef1110 · May 25, 2008, 10:24 AM

You have to realize everyone has a past and when you want to be with someone you not only want to be with them but also have to accept the events that preceded your relationship as the course of these events eventually brought them into your life. If you care about them that won't matter as you have to remember relationships are a learning process and you can't learn without making mistakes.

bradysmama17 · May 25, 2008, 11:17 AM

OMG thank you Super Allie. Finally someone said it. Men are like baby's, and if they can't accept your past then why bother? If they love you then they should accept your past, because they weren't involved, and there is no way toi go back and change the things that happened in the past. The past is the past, let it go.

f104 · May 25, 2008, 02:14 PM

Dude if you love her you will get over this. Firstly is it really your business who she has slept with in the past, before you two were together? I would also say it is none of her business who you have slept with prior to your current relationship. The main thing is that you are together now.

I once dated a former prostitute for a year. She had been with more than a 1000 men sexually. It was a wonderful lesson for me on jealousy, ego, forgiveness and love. She was an incredible woman. We ended up going our separate ways as we our interests changed over time. But she was awesome.

Whether you GF has been with only you or a thousand other guys takes should have not take away from the fact that she is a wonderful woman who has chosen to give you a chance at a relationship with you. You could thank her for being open with you and also thank her for giving you the opportunity at having a relationship with her.

I wish you all the best.

banhbao21 · May 25, 2008, 07:28 PM

Thanks guys for all the replies. It really has helped me out a lot :] And yea this is my first relationship. So the person who asked how many girls I've been with before her, its none.

Chery · Jul 7, 2008, 02:38 AM

Did it ever occur to you that those other '2' might have given her sex drugs and used her? This happens all too often and most girls are so ashamed that they don't report it or talk about it and it messes up the rest of their lives.

This might have been mentally eating at her so much so that she had to tell someone - and she felt secure and confident enough in you to tell you about it. Instead of going on a guilt trip or being p*ssed at the wrong people, be mad at the ones who violated her and try to encourage her to speak to a therapist and even report them for this violation before they find more victims to use. Unfortunately there are jerks out there that do this all the time and think nothing of it - it's rape. Period... and they should be punished for it.

In my opinion, she trusted you and your relationship enough to talk to you about something that is degrading and took the risk of you being very turned off by this. Do her a favor and support her as best as you can and talk to someone about your anger too. There are a lot of couples with the same issues and they seek help to keep their love going because it means more than what some criminals did to invade both of your lives. Yes, this invaded you too - that's why you are so p*ssed off and feel powerless.

The other one individual she thought she was in love with did not work, and she moved on and found you. Each relationship has it's ups and downs, but when this critical sometimes professional help benefits both, so give it a try.

Good luck dear, for you and for her. Help her get her self-respect back so that she can become a loving and happy woman again.