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yoyokerk · Feb 20, 2006, 11:25 PM

What do you do if your kids 16 and 14 do not want you to date. What if they absolutely do not want you to date one particular person, and you are madly in love?:( :( :(

educatedhorse_2005 · Feb 21, 2006, 03:55 AM

Remember that the kids will be out of the house in four years it will be just you do you want to be alone

I have a sister in the same position you are her kids are 16, 15, and 14
She told them that if they can date she can

Just make sure that you do not let the person be there in the morning when they get up

fredg · Feb 21, 2006, 05:57 AM

Hi, yoyo,
Please, if you haven't already, sit down with your kids, talk with them, and since you already know they don't want you dating, tell them it makes you happy, and that they will have to accept it, sooner or later.
You have a life also, and can't continue not seeing others, just because your kids don't want you to.
The person you date, if you bring him home, or if he is around your kids, needs to know beforehand that they have a problem with you dating. He should "bend over backwards" to be nice to them, and hopefully, they will eventually like him.
I do wish you the very best of luck.

phillysteakandcheese · Feb 21, 2006, 08:26 AM

As a step-parent, I can relate...

The kids are probably concerned about their mother/father, losing attention from you, what the new person will be like, and just the change in their lives that will occur.

It really will take a great deal of talking to get to the heart of the matter, but I can assure you that once it is dealt with, your children will be happy that you are happy, even if they dislike your new friend.

Of course, your new friend will need to be making an extra effort to get along and not be seen as taking over everyone's lives.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 21, 2006, 08:30 AM

I will agree with about everyone so far, sit down with them, explain it and so on. Also let them know that dating is not getting married by any length and that you have a right to be happy also.

But in the end, they are kids and you are the parent, so you tell them how it is going to be if they like it or not.

And as a word though. After I lost my wife (I always used to joke if someone had found her yet) but I started dating, some good, and some bod dates. But I waited for my youngest to graduate and be old enough to move out on his own if he wanted to before I got married again.
I did not want to cause the problems of a step parent into a household