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alpha_zero · Jan 9, 2008, 06:28 PM

Ok so I've been dating this girl I know for a month now and everything is going great for us. There are some side effects as in she is muslim and even though she is in her early 20's she is still not aloud to date and she has siblings at school so we have to hide our relationsip sometimes, I don't miind I think it makes it more intense and adventurous. Well in my past relationships they have alsways ended bad cause my ex's always ended up cheating on me and of course me I got heart broken, after the last one I thought enough was enough and I was sick of that crap. But then this girl came into my life and it was the best thing that has happened since. Before we started to go out and we were just friends she told me she liked another guy but would go out with me and give me a shot cause we had more things in common (ex. We both don't drink, we both like the same TV shows, same colours and what have you) So now since my past was so bad I really lifke this girl but always when we are together or not this very LITTLE thing in the back of my head is saying *what if this happens again* I know this sounds stupid and basically I'm making myself panic and setting myself up for somethnig stupid, but it just is in their sometimes and drives me crazy. I know I shouldn't even think that really.

Then there is well she told me she is not aloud to date and I asked her what her rents would say and she said they wouldn't get mad, but they told her to never bring boys home. (FYI her rents moved here from india a while ago and all their children were born here) There is apart of my that goes OK I respect your wishes, and another that says I want to meet your parents and I'm sure ill make a good impression cause I'm a really good guy and maybe they could look past that, or even the color of my skin if they have an issue with that *I am white* (cause I believe in what luther king said that people should not be judged by the color of their skin but the content of their character) I feel I should talk to her about it, I met 2 of her sisters and they seem to like me but they don't know we are dating. Thanks for the help

talaniman · Jan 9, 2008, 08:32 PM

Respect her wishes and be cool, and she has told you she likes someone else, but just be cool, and get to know her, leave the rest alone. A month is no time. How old are you and her anyway?

alpha_zero · Jan 10, 2008, 03:06 PM

I am 19 and she is 21, she told me she likes another guy like a month before we started going but I do somewhat get jelous cause I am white and she is muslim and when she hangs around other muslim guys in the back of my head is thinking *great if she isn't happy with me or its not going to work and she might dump me cause I'm white and go date one of her muslim friends* it's just the race thing that is complicated and my parents and I don't have a problem with it hells no, but her rents do and they don't even know she is dating me

talaniman · Jan 10, 2008, 04:35 PM

Her cultural rules are different than yours, open mind though you may be. You must still respect her position, curb your jealousy and insecurity, and have fun. Once you start doing anything but have fun, ie; want to meet her parents, the fun is gone and now complications arise. Also, your both to fresh in this to make demands, or commitments. Put your best foot forward, and make her laugh.

Bluerose · Jan 10, 2008, 05:42 PM

alpha_zero,

I agree with talaniman. This is all new, take it very slowly. It hasn't even started and you are worried about it finishing. Don't be surprised if it does - be prepared. The cultural differences might make this an impossible relationship but it could still turn into a very good friendship. The fact that she wants to keep the relationship a secret isn't a good sign. And I'm sure she gets enough pressure from home without you pushing to meet her parents. Go with the flow, young man and have fun.