[jencal]

Help me! I have an 8 year old son that is refusing to go to school. We are going to a psychologist, he has been put on Prozac by Ped. Doc. He gets so scared and causes himself to have stomaches in the morning and tries to get out of school at what ever it takes. He had missed about 20 days since mid nov to December break. I have taken a no tolerance attitude now with him and drag him to school and leave him in the care of the principal and aides. Does anyone have any other advice? He was a gold honor roll student and perfect attendance the first nine weeks of school. Nothing has changed at home, there have been no problems with anyone at school... this just came on all of a sudden. He is the middle son of 3 boys, the oldest is 11 he is 8 and youngest 4. Very frustrating to see my child tormented like this. ANy advice?

[fiona445]

Have you thought it could be "middle child syndrome" - maybe he is feeling unloved or left out- or has he not got allot of friends? Because he could be lonlely/sad at school and on his own, you could try letting his friends stay a few weekends and see if being with his friends makes him happier and then he might like to go school to spend time with them.

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[asking]

I would assume that something has changed. I think you need to talk to him more until you find out what it is...

I have to say that I am not convinced that any pediatrician is qualified to put an 8 year old on an antidepressant. Has a child psychiatrist diagnosed him as being depressed? What symptoms are there? Or is he just refusing to go to school? These drugs were developed for adults and tested on adults only. Most drugs have never been tested on children because of liability issues.

Take him for a long walk or a long drive three times a week and talk to him. You can't make him talk, but you can make yourself listen until you find out why he's so unhappy. Keep asking him and listen. Don't tell him he's wrong or argue. Just listen. Sometimes middle kids don't get heard much. Something's on his mind...

[peggyhill]

Have you considered having him speak to a counselor who is trained to work with children in addition to seeing a doctor? It might help him open up about why he doesn't want to go to school. Do you think that something bad might have happened to him at school, like abuse by a teacher or something? I'm not saying that's what it is of course, just wondering why there is such a sudden change.

Just let him know that you are here for him and that he can always tell you anything. Spend time alone with him like asking said, so that he has plenty of chances to open up. Just hang in there, this could be a phase. I remember I once refused to go to school in elementary school all because I was having trouble with my math. Once I got help with that, I enjoyed school again. So hang in there! Hope all goes well!

[asking]

J-9. My mistake about Prozac. I knew most drugs haven't been tested, but not which ones have. I still think it's inappropriate for a pediatrician to prescribe antidepressants if the child hasn't been diagnosed by a psychiatrist. What do you think about that? Do you think I'm wrong? ( I know you know a lot more about this than I do.)

[talaniman]

The only thing that changes a boy that age suddenly is a bully. I could be wrong, but you should observe him in school, interacting with others, without his knowledge. That would be my first step, and talking to his teachers, again without his knowledge.

[say cheese]

Start to do things so he knows you love him. I do homeschooling with my mom. Maybe he could do that too. When I was in school kids made fun of me, that may be what is happening with him. I started missing school too. Here at home we have math books and reading and science. I am going to try school again but I want to go with my cousins who are 12 and 10. Tell him to keep his chin up and don't be afraid.

[jencal]

He is doing better. Thanks to all for the insight. He has been seeing a psych doc, is doing well there. He is playing basketball and loves it, and is also in boy scouts. He has made it through 7 days of school, some were rough, but today was the best! He rode the bus, had a great day at school. The Prozac is a VERY temporary thing, that is the only way I would ever agree to it! 'Say Cheese'... that was great advice, I hope all works out great for you. How old are you? We show our boys so much love, we have a great close family. Keep your chin up! Bullies are HORRIBLE! I was teased through out school, and hated it. Thanks again!
God Bless!

[Fr_Chuck]

It does sound like there was "something" that has happened, either by another student or a teacher.

[sGt HarDKorE]

Talk to him daily, turn of the TV and things and see if he will takl. At first he won't and will probably get mad but he might open up after a little bit of time and that's all that matters