Check out some similar questions!

d1987 · Apr 18, 2010, 08:19 AM

All right, so the scoop..

We have been together for almost 6 years.. he is a bit older than me... We met under very weird circumstances. I was in a long-term relationship, and he was in the process of getting married.

We hung out for a long time before things got romantic. But there were strong feelings from both sides the entire time. We fell in love without meaning to.

He wound up getting married, and we still talked and hung out from time to time.. We just couldn't stay apart from each other.. We made each other happy. He wound up leaving his wife, and we are together..

We have been living together for just over 2 years now, and for some reason he won't touch me.. I am begging for affection and not getting any. When I try to talk to him, he won't answer me, he just gets frustrated and leaves the room. He hasn't kissed me in over a year, without me making the move to do so.. and even then, it seems forced and awkward. I don't understand. He seems to have no interest in me anymore, and when I ask him, he says it's me feeling sorry for myself, there's nothing wrong "bla bla bla".. Which sends me to tears, and starts a fight.

I don't think I am doing anything wrong or different, He knows I love him more than anything.. Fact is, these days he would rather sit in front of the computer and satisfy himself that way.

Sex was never boring with us.. we did different things all the time, Even went to a couple swingers clubs in the city.. Like WHAT IS GOING ON! Im going nuts!

Any advise is appreciated!

sully123 · Apr 18, 2010, 08:23 AM

There is a lot more going on, then you know. It's very odd, your husband has even kissed you in over a year, that's a big problem. Do you think he could be cheating on you? Or he has some real serious issues. He went from one marriage to another. Maybe he wasn't even over the last marriage. These are big red flags! You need to get to the bottom of this, or leave him!

JoeCanada76 · Apr 18, 2010, 08:26 AM

I would say he has some sort of addiction to the computer. Maybe he is having an affair. There are many possibilities. Affair is first that comes to mind.

d1987 · Apr 18, 2010, 10:44 AM

Ohhh were not married! Lol. Which is a good thing.. It may soon be time to take out the trash. I have given everything to him, and deserve better.. Nobody deserves to feel the way I feel...

JoeCanada76 · Apr 18, 2010, 01:08 PM

Well Technically you are married. Common law now is considered the same as a real marriage now. You have been together for 6 years.

Cat1864 · Apr 18, 2010, 01:20 PM

How old is he? When was the last time he had a check up? Sometimes, withdrawing from contact, turning problems back on the other person, and becoming 'self-indulgent' can be signs of physical (erectile dysfunction, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc.) or mental (depression, etc.) issues.

Has it been this way since you moved in together or did the problem develop over time?

Devorameira · Apr 18, 2010, 01:26 PM

Sometimes men get addicted to internet porn and spend so much time and effort in front of the computer that they don't want sex with their significant other, but for him to not even want to kiss you - that's just not normal.

I think there's definitely something more going on with him. You are right - it just may be time to take out the trash.

I think in Ontario that "common law" marriage occurs after living together 3 continuous years, so you may want to get out before it comes to that.

d1987 · Apr 18, 2010, 02:16 PM

Common Law didn't even cross my mind.. lol sorry.

Cat:... I am 24 he is 32. There is quite the age diff. That had never been a problem before either.

I don't know the last time he has had a full check up to be honest. I don't think he is depressed, He seems happy most of the time.. It's all happened over time. I don't know if something scared him out of being intimate with me? It really sucks though.
Sometimes I will look at him and say, can you just stop and love me for a minute (meaning show some affection), He will hug me, but pat me on the back.

It's so frustrating, So I get angry, and things just seem to get worse.

talaniman · Apr 19, 2010, 05:59 AM

Do you mean you were intimate while he was married? Are you saying he left his marriage and moved right in with you? Why did he divorce his wife? There are a lot of things that could be going on.

d1987 · Apr 19, 2010, 03:48 PM

No no, we weren't intimate while he was married.. We waited a long time befire anything, even a while before we moved in together.. I know what was going on with the marriage, and why it did not work out.. That's a total different thing.

Homegirl 50 · Apr 19, 2010, 03:57 PM

Well maybe the excitement of things being taboo with you two has worn off.
He may have a new honey.
Unless there is something physically wrong with him, at that age, he maybe getting it somewhere, kissing somebody.
This relationship was kind of hinkey from the get go

laelmes · Aug 30, 2011, 10:30 AM

My name is Lisa and I am going through the same thing with my boyfriend, and we have only been dating a year! I have asked him if he wants to break up, but he says no that he isn't going anywhere. What is up with men?? My theroy is that if a normally healthy man isn't touching or showing affection to his partner, then he is giving it to someone else!! I don't know about you, but I can't live this way! I am very sexually active but I'm not getting any sex! HELP!! Good luck to those who are going through this mess!!