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mashedupmess · Nov 27, 2007, 01:41 PM

I seeing this guy, but he's obessesed with sex.
I'm still a virgin and so obviously very worried about the whole idea.
I know most of you guys are going to say stay away all he is after is sex, but if it was then he wouldn't still be with me would he? He says I mean the world to him and he's being a gentlemen and will wait until I'm ready. I really appreciate it but he brings it up everyday. He said if I wanted to help I could start by sending him a few flirty/dirty texts, but the whole situation just embarrasses me because I'm that innocent I wouldn't even know what to write. My mates feel he is pressurising me, but I don't think he is, he says he just fancies me that much and its normal male behaviour, but it causes tension between us, because I often don't reply and then I think he gets a little bit annoyed (even though he doesn't show it, it just says its hard because he really likes me)
What I'm worried about is when I finally come round to the idea of having sex, that because he is into it so much that that's all we will do, and I don't want that. I still want to be able to cuddle up and watch a film or go the cinema or shopping extra.
I know your probably thinking well what you doing with him, but I really like the guy, we do have lots of things in common and I don't want to leave him.
What are your opinions?
Also quite importantly I know lads talk with other lads, do lads show photo's to other lads? And show them texts? Please let me know as I just don't have a clue and I find it so embarrassing!

J_9 · Nov 27, 2007, 01:42 PM

How old are you hun?

mashedupmess · Nov 27, 2007, 01:45 PM

19

Rockstar714 · Nov 27, 2007, 01:47 PM

If he really liked you and wanted to wait, he wouldn't bring the topic up until YOU said you were ready for it. My boyfriend and I were friends for over a year before anything happened between us. I knew that sex was an important part of a relationship to him, but I wasn't ready, and I voiced that openly. He was a gentleman and NEVER brought the subject up until I said that it was OK.
It sounds like this guy is really just into you because of what he thinks he can get. If he respected your wishes he wouldn't ask you to send him dirty messages. And if it makes you uncomfortable, then don't send them to him. And if he is playing you and just wants sex, then most likely he will show his friends. I have had plenty of my guy friends use girls for sex and they've talked to me and shown me the messages, so I wouldn't put it past him.
Hope this helps!

450donn · Nov 28, 2007, 07:43 AM

Yea, he really really likes you. What that means in man speak is he is trying to get into your pants and be the first so he can brag to all his drinking buddies. Since you are a virgin, you should dump him, and start looking for men in places that hold the same values that you do, Like church. Not that Christirans are perfect, not by a long shot. But you will have a chance to find a young man that will hold dear the values that he was raised with

Ash123 · Nov 28, 2007, 09:31 AM

He would like very much to sleep with you.
I should point out that this is normal.

If you want a guy that does not want to sleep with you, I would suggest letting him go.
He is not going to relent... however, you may get him to wait until marriage if he shares your beliefs. Does he?

bebegirl · Nov 30, 2007, 01:13 AM

Girly, I would find a guy that has the same morals as you. Because -- if you do decide to have sex and you 2 break up.. it's going to be difficult for you. God created sex for a husband and wife. I have made the mistake and no waited. I have been under so much emotional stress from it... I know my boyfriend loves me.. but please just wait. I promise you -- I will pay off in the future.
God Bless

Choux · Nov 30, 2007, 08:33 PM

YOu will be much better off if you avoid having sex with this man... I can tell by how you expressed yourself in your question that you are not ready to have sex with a guy then dealing with getting dumped at some later point. He is really working on you hard!!

On the other hand, we all learn our best lessons from hard knocks. Yet, nevertheless, I think you are still too immature to get into an affair with this kind of guy.

Best wishes to you...

punapayaos · Dec 1, 2007, 01:11 AM

Start by telling him that you do not want to talk about sex every time you are together, and that you are not comfortable with sending him dirty text. Stick to your values girl, if he truly cares about you he will respect your feelings and wishes, if he does not then it's all a game to him. Pressure does not equal caring.