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secret lovah · May 12, 2007, 10:19 PM

Hello, I'm Mel and I'm having a bit of trouble.

My boyfriend and I haven't had sex in 7 months. We stopped because I gave him a pregnancy scare the last two times, and since I've been trying to get BC so we can start again.

Problem is now, he tells me he never wants to have sex again. But that's not what bugs me, what bugs me is, even if we fool around and I'm touching him, he flinches. I asked him why, he said "it feels weird, the situation."

I don't think he's not attracted to me anymore because he's always touching and caressing me, but I don't know why he's stated "No sex ever again." Maybe I traumatized him? But then again, he won't even let me touch him. I ask him what's the problem, he says he doesn't know.

I'm starting to think maybe he really doesn't find me attractive or maybe I actually did traumatize him.

I've asked people, they've said "Well maybe he's trying to take the relationship seriously."

I mentioned that to him, he said "Then why do I still want to have sex?"

So he basically... wants to have sex... but not with me?

That makes me feel ugly and such. But then he tells me it's not me, it's him, and he really doesn't know why he doesn't want to ever again.

What should I do?

krystal1973 · May 12, 2007, 11:24 PM

You said you were trying to get Birth Control, Have you gotten it yet?
Maybe he's not ready to have a baby right now. It probably just scared him.
If you told him that you would get on Birth Control then you should do that. Maybe he's one of the few guys who listened when someone told him -- "If you play then you will pay".
Try to focus on something else in your relationship non-sexual right now, communicate with him, and try to respect the fact that he may really not want a baby right now, and he probably meant it when he said that it had nothing to do with you.

kepi · May 13, 2007, 12:11 AM

A baby scare is not something you mess with. Give him some time to cool down- I know you think 7 months is MORE than enough, but he could simply be really scared. I mean, think about it: what would a baby mean for the both of you?