Check out some similar questions!

Anayden · May 1, 2007, 08:12 AM

Ok here is the problem... My husband and I have been together 3 years in June of 2004. I met him when I was 17 and he was 21. On my 18th b-day I decided to move with him, merely 3wks after I met him, because I was being molested at home. My best friend knew him, so I wasn't scared to move in with what most people would call a stranger. Everything was fine for like the first 2 months. Emotionally it was wonderful, sexually it was wonderful, we had so much in common and we loved to go out. About 4 months into our relationship I got pregnant with my daughter, who is now almost 2. Then he proposed to me the day after christmas that year. And I blatantly asked him if he wanted the baby and he said yes. So I stayed with him throughout my pregnancy and we went through a lot of stuff. We got evicted from our apartment, so we stayed with his father. I finally got my own apartment and he stays with me now. I had my daughter in August of 2005. Throughout my pregnancy with her we fought on and off... argue if you will... So that was how it was and when my daughter was 9mths, May of 2006, I got pregnant with my son. Right from the beginning I knew it wasn't the right time to keep him and I expressed it to my still fiancé.

He told me to keep him and so we did. In August of 2006 I found out he was chatting with people online saying how he want to meet them and do all kinds of things... when, I am really a sexaholic, so him saying that kind of hurt because I was still there and I would LOVE to have sex with him... anyways... I confronted him and he said he wasn't going to do it anymore. So I left it alone. 2 weeks later I saw anouther site he was on posting personal ads and saying he want to have sexual relations with people and meet them and stuff. When I get upset my blood pressure rises and I pass out, so I did. I was in the hospital for 3 days before I woke up and when I came home I saw anouther site. And actually it was to find guys to have sex with! Now he tried to hide it so it won't like it was in my face... but that's anouther story. I married him in Nov. I had my son in January and I found out that he's doing coke. I have a problem with him going out with his friends now because he is weak and listens to what ever his best friend tells him. And so yesterday I heard a love song ringtone on his phone and it was his best friend! And when I asked him why his friend had that song he said cause he wanted to use it for a long time and him and me are the only ones that really call him. So I stated why didn't he use it for me and he said cause my ring tone(hey baby, pick up the phone) was better. And I gave him this look and when I confronted him about the sites before he just said that he was bi-curious. He got mad at the look I gave him and asked me what was that look for and I was like cause you're gay and you don't want to admit it and every since we been fighting hard.

I do EVERYTHING for him. When he wants sex I give it to him. He will be in the kitchen and ask me to make him something and I do it. Rub his back, feet, shoulders for no reason some times but because I love him. I have tried everything to make this work and even his family begged me not to leave him! And when I ask him to do something for me he gets all pissed off... And he's stingy in bed... Im at my wits end. Im ready to give up. But I do still love him and want it to work out. But Im going by what I want not what I need, what do you think? I've tried talking to him, trating him like he treats me, showing him love hoping he will get the hint of how to act... I don't know what else to do.

So, my question... should I have my marriage annulled? Or do you know what I can do to save my marriage?

talaniman · May 1, 2007, 09:19 AM

Get some marriage counseling for you both. Truthfuly you are two very young strangers in a family setting, so get some help to guide you through the process of knowing the truth about each other, before you decide to end it. Without help that's exactly where your headed.

sypher373 · May 1, 2007, 10:47 AM

Anayden agrees: We would but money is scarce now adays. :( And even we were going to go but at the last minute he backed out of it!

Did he give a good reason for backing out of the counseling... Thats not usually a good sign.

Anayden · May 1, 2007, 11:48 AM

No, cause he isn't want to go.

talaniman · May 1, 2007, 12:09 PM

Then you go, as many of the churches in your area have marriage counselors.

robertsqueen · May 1, 2007, 12:27 PM

Okay in order to help you I am going to have to break this down. [QUOTE=Anayden]Ok here is the problem... My husband and I have been together 3 years in June of 2004. I met him when I was 17 and he was 21. On my 18th b-day I decided to move with him, merely 3wks after I met him, because I was being molested at home.First of all I want to say I am sorry that you had to go through something like that. It isn't fair that people take away other peoples agency. My best friend knew him, so I wasn't scared to move in with what most people would call a stranger. Everything was fine for like the first 2 months. Emotionally it was wonderful, sexually it was wonderful, we had so much in common and we loved to go out. About 4 months into our relationship I got pregnant with my daughter, who is now almost 2.Congrats....they are wonderful. Then he proposed to me the day after christmas that year. And I blatantly asked him if he wanted the baby and he said yes. So I stayed with him throughout my pregnancy and we went through a lot of stuff. We got evicted from our apartment, so we stayed with his father. I finally got my own apartment and he stays with me now. I had my daughter in August of 2005. Throughout my pregnancy with her we fought on and off... argue if you will... So that was how it was and when my daughter was 9mths, May of 2006, I got pregnant with my son. Right from the beginning I knew it wasn't the right time to keep him and I expressed it to my still fiancé. Did he take your feelings into consideration?

He told me to keep him and so we did. In August of 2006 I found out he was chatting with people online saying how he want to meet them and do all kinds of things... when, I am really a sexaholic, so him saying that kind of hurt because I was still there and I would LOVE to have sex with him... anyways... I confronted him and he said he wasn't going to do it anymore. So I left it alone. 2 weeks later I saw anouther site he was on posting personal ads and saying he want to have sexual relations with people and meet them and stuff. When I get upset my blood pressure rises and I pass out, so I did. I was in the hospital for 3 days before I woke up and when I came home I saw anouther site. And actually it was to find guys to have sex with! Now he tried to hide it so it won't like it was in my face... but that's anouther story.He obviously has feelings for men. But he is in denial. I married him in Nov. I had my son in January and I found out that he's doing coke.You should have left him then and there...if not for you but for your children. I have a problem with him going out with his friends now because he is weak and listens to what ever his best friend tells him. And so yesterday I heard a love song ringtone on his phone and it was his best friend!Usually people choose ringtones that match how they feel about someone. Do they have a relationship with each other? Did you ask him that? And when I asked him why his friend had that song he said cause he wanted to use it for a long time and him and me are the only ones that really call him. So I stated why didn't he use it for me and he said cause my ring tone(hey baby, pick up the phone) was better. And I gave him this look and when I confronted him about the sites before he just said that he was bi-curious. He got mad at the lookbecuase he knows you know. I gave him and asked me what was that look for and I was like cause you're gay and you don't want to admit it and every since we been fighting hard.

I do EVERYTHING for him. When he wants sex I give it to him. He will be in the kitchen and ask me to make him something and I do it. Rub his back, feet, shoulders for no reason some times but because I love him.You need to ask him to treat you the same way...he is taking advantag of you. I have tried everything to make this work and even his family begged me not to leave him! And when I ask him to do something for me he gets all pissed off... And he's stingy in bedMost men want to please thier woman.... Im at my wits end. Im ready to give up. But I do still love him and want it to work out. But Im going by what I want not what I need, what do you think? I've tried talking to him, trating him like he treats me, showing him love hoping he will get the hint of how to act... I don't know what else to do.

I think that in order for this relationship to work he needs to change...not for you but for himself. He dosn't sound like that great of a guy...and from what you have posted and answer..I think you are a beatiful, intellgent, wonderful person who deserves better.