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IsabelM2 · Oct 21, 2010, 08:48 PM

(First, please forgive my english, it is my second language)
Ok... I like the guy. He texts me whenever he feels like it. He calls whenever. He says he cares about me a lot and does not want to end it but I am not sure. Last time he said he'll call , he didn't... just text message the next day. (Few words) I text him back in like 4 hours after, he answered a few times and then he did not answer back.(Not idea what happened) He has done this before with the excuse that he was taking a shower or work. I feel I should not answer any of his text messages, ignore him completely, unless he calls. I want to see if he keeps texting or calls me. I want to see how much he cares! What do you think?

PS At the beginning we had constant communication , now is less. We live in different cities... I know :(

Justwantfair · Oct 21, 2010, 09:04 PM

Have you ever lived in the same city?
Have you met in person?

IsabelM2 · Oct 21, 2010, 09:23 PM

Yes , once, We've been chatting, texting and skype. He says he is coming in November.

Justwantfair · Oct 21, 2010, 09:28 PM

How old are you? How long have you been in a relationship this way? Have you had other relationships? LDR are difficult enough and your relationship started that way, how did you meet?

IsabelM2 · Oct 21, 2010, 09:41 PM

We grew up in the same city and neighborhood. His sister was my best friend years ago. Yes I have had other relationships. I am divorced. I go out with other guys here in my city, I have many friends. I cannot stop taking to him. He says the same thing to me. But lately it feels like more serious but at the same time communication is less. He says is work etc. he does not answer text, he says he will call, he doesn't. I do not know what to do. If just stop answering him or what? I am not sure what to do. It hurts!

Justwantfair · Oct 21, 2010, 09:51 PM

My partner is in GA, his work keeps him from contacting as often as I would like also. For him it's not disinterest as a busy work schedule and it can be painful waiting or feeling like you are waiting by the phone.

I would suggest a serious talk with him about how it makes you feel. Discuss options for when he is 'too' busy. Arrange phone calls for times that are less likely to conflict with outside distractions. If he can't make the phone call, let him know that he needs to send you a text at the very least. Let him know that for every missed phone date, you expect a bouquet as an apologetic gesture, lol.

The only solution is communicating what you both expect from the relationship.

talaniman · Oct 22, 2010, 08:06 AM

You sure expect a lot from your text buddy, but while texting is popular, it can replace the face to face or the voice to voice.

Maybe this is just a friendly relationship, as its hard to have a romantic connection with the distance, and texts.

You like the guy, but what are you doing, and what do you expect? Is this official, or just testing the waters?

I think its fair that if you are always available, then so should he be. Just get on the same page, like the day, and time you both are available to each other. For sure I think it's the distance, and uncertainty that has you upset, and frazzled over his lack of attention.

Even long term committed couples have a lot of trouble with distance though, as we miss our partners, but can do little about it, unless we stay busy, and communicate well when we do get in touch.

I think instead of worrying about when you can't communicate, take better advantage of when you can.

Quality is better than quantity.

But lately it feels like more serious but at the same time communication is less.

What does that mean, is it a feeling or an agreement? When feelings get stronger, expectations get stronger, and I hope its mutual, sometimes its NOT!