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    A girl wants ex's Avatar
    A girl wants ex Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 10, 2009, 04:22 PM
    Dumped by a boy going out for 1 month
    I knew this guy online and we had emailed each other back and forth and 3-4 times everyday, also chatted on msn. We really felt desirable about each other. He is very handsome, I am pretty too, and we kind of share similar values and hobbies, so we both found that the other is physically and mentally attractive.

    After chatting online 3 weeks, we finally met... I felt he was crazy about me, and he commented that it's been long time he wanted someone so badly.
    Then after 2 weeks dating, I started to be more demanding and probably putting pressure on him since I thought we were in a serious relationship already.
    He started to pull back--- less calls, less text, after 3 weeks dating, he was out of town for 1 week, during that week we were still talking and caring about each other; we were supposed to meet up after he returned. In stead of a dinner together, he called and broke up with me... he said he is not in love with me, and won't never be in love with me. And I believe he made up his mind to break up with me after seeing his therapist that night! However there were no clear signals ahead, as when I acted demanding sometimes, I thought he would tolerate it, as he was kind of demanding at the beginning too!

    I guess I know why he lost interest on me... BECAUSE I was too easy, too demanding, too supportive, too nice! So he lost the motivation of chasing after me!!

    :)I am here to seek for some help.
    My question is: I want to try with him again, but I won't call him, do you guys think if he will want to get back with me someday? Any tips?
    Thanks a lot!
    nitelight198073's Avatar
    nitelight198073 Posts: 470, Reputation: 76
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    #2

    Feb 10, 2009, 04:39 PM

    Tip forget about him because if he could not talk about your problems, it is not a real relationship... If he broke up with you with no notice... He is not that into you... So don't try because you will end up in the same boat
    benny22xx's Avatar
    benny22xx Posts: 3, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Feb 10, 2009, 05:18 PM

    The question is did you give it up? If so then that was mistake number one. Especially if you are trying to make something serious out of this relationship. The next is I agree that you got to involved too quick, and by that I mean you guys were "together" for only two weeks when you got a little too crazy. "demanding and probably putting pressure on him" So of course he ran for the hills, that first two weeks should be the most fun. You guys probably got too serious too quick.
    A girl wants ex's Avatar
    A girl wants ex Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Feb 10, 2009, 06:03 PM

    Thank you so much!!
    What else I can do after he broke up with me, except for No Contact For Now? It's so obvious that he doesn't want to go out with me anymore... since yesterday he even hides his profile on the dating website where we met after found out I was online too, he needs space I guess... but he hates me so doesn't want me to see him online?
    He was very excited about me, and hasn't had a good relationship for almost 2 years, he is someone picky I believe... I am wondering if he would miss me and call me one day. If I caught him for 6 weeks (including 3 weeks online), I think I have sth special for him, isn't it?
    I need opinions from someone more rational than today's me, Thanks again!
    A girl wants ex's Avatar
    A girl wants ex Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Feb 10, 2009, 06:11 PM
    And you know what... I got serious too quick, kind of because I was somehow implied by him. As he kept mentioning he wants a serious relationship, needs someone gentle to him... he even talked about the wedding mode he wants during the 1st week!

    I think that I started to trust him really fast and thought he was very serious about me, so I started acting like his girlfriend.
    I believe he is responsible too on speeding up the pace of this relationship.

    I am not in big love with him, haven't dropped a tear after break-up, but can't get him out of my mind at all.
    He has most of the qualities I want to see on a man, I don't want to give up without really trying...
    You guys must be able to understand my
    Feelings, right?
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #6

    Feb 11, 2009, 12:50 PM

    I think you wanted a boyfriend and that alone make you rush things a little. Take what happen from this and use it as a learning tool. Before you give or want someone to be your boyfriend take time and really get to know them. Date for a while or at least a few months not weeks before you get into a relationship with them because love takes time and it don't happen over night. And when you move too fast it won't last long because you didn't take time to build a strong foundation and that's important.

    However sometimes things don't happen the way you want them too and everyone has been dumped at some point in their life. But how you deal with it is what counts. Stop focusing on if and when he's going wanted get back with you and move on. Find someone who wants you and don't cry over spilled milk.

    So today is a new day with new things to learn and people to meet. Have fun dating and don't rush things. Take it slow.
    A girl wants ex's Avatar
    A girl wants ex Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Feb 11, 2009, 03:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by liz28 View Post
    I think you wanted a boyfriend and that alone make you rush things a little. Take what happen from this and use it as a learning tool. Before you give or want someone to be your boyfriend take time and really get to know them. Date for a while or at least a few months not weeks before you get into a relationship with them because love takes time and it don't happen over night. And when you move too fast it won't last long because you didn't take time to build a strong foundation and that's important.

    However sometimes things don't happen the way you want them too and everyone has been dumped at some point in their life. But how you deal with it is what counts. Stop focusing on if and when he's going wanted get back with you and move on. Find someone who wants you and don't cry over spilled milk.

    So today is a new day with new things to learn and people to meet. Have fun dating and don't rush things. Take it slow.
    You are absolutely right. But I see good qualities on this man, and don't want to give up by some silly mistakes. Is there anyone experience the same thing? Is there some good ways to re-communicate with an ex boyfriend or an ex date?
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #8

    Feb 11, 2009, 03:58 PM

    Some of my exes and I are good friends regardless of our relationship not working. However we didn't have any hang up towards one another but your case is different.

    You can't get in touch with someone that doesn't want you to get in touch with them. Also, being that you have feelings for him still I don't think it's a good idea because if he does start talking to you you don't want that to translate to he wants you back.

    Ask yourself this "if he does start back talking to you only on a friend basics can you handle him being with someone else"?

    Again, not focusing on him. There is someone else out there that match the qualities your looking for in a guy.
    A girl wants ex's Avatar
    A girl wants ex Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Feb 11, 2009, 10:33 PM

    No more opinions? Thanks!
    A girl wants ex's Avatar
    A girl wants ex Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Feb 11, 2009, 10:59 PM

    Actually, I sent him text the next day after broke up, asking about some kind of book which he may has; he replied he has a book like that.
    Instead of asking him to lend it to me, I said I would send him an email (I wanted to ask him the name)... since I was writing the email, I lost control... I commented the mistakes I made, just like confession, the lack of confidence on me, blablabla... it was a very long email, and at the end I said " I understand you want someone different, and I wish you will find your woman of dream someday soon"
    I thought it was a friendly email, but he never replies me since then. There is only that text message he said he had the book, and now I text him, he won't reply me any more!
    WHY?? I'm confused...
    He even hides his profile on dating site, maybe he is angry by seeing me trying to get someone new by posting a new photo and updating my profile on that website.
    A girl wants ex's Avatar
    A girl wants ex Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Feb 13, 2009, 11:32 PM

    You know what? My ex has contacted me and said we can be friends after a while. After 1 week NC!
    Well, maybe he doesn't mean we can get back together soon.
    But who knows what will happen?
    beach_boys's Avatar
    beach_boys Posts: 19, Reputation: 2
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    #12

    Feb 15, 2009, 02:50 AM

    Move on. You said your pretty anf good looking. You should'nt have problems finding a guy. Avoid internet and go meet people in real life.
    A girl wants ex's Avatar
    A girl wants ex Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Feb 15, 2009, 06:54 AM

    I think I'm picky, so it has been difficult to find someone I like.
    kirriky's Avatar
    kirriky Posts: 80, Reputation: 26
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    #14

    Feb 16, 2009, 06:06 AM
    I say forget this guy. You saw each other a few times during a couple weeks, it didn't work out, well, I guess you just weren't compatible or he didn't like you when he got to know you. I don't see how this could work out if it barely had enough flame to even start. Save yourself the heartache.
    Irishgirl's Avatar
    Irishgirl Posts: 129, Reputation: 18
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    #15

    Feb 16, 2009, 06:47 AM
    Do you know men can smell desperation and they don't like it!! For all that is good and holy move on before you make a fool of yourself woman
    A girl wants ex's Avatar
    A girl wants ex Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #16

    Feb 16, 2009, 06:24 PM

    Yes, I have moved on... I think about him much less. Thanks a lot!

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