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Mymama · Jan 23, 2009, 01:01 PM

My son is in 1st grade and is being bullyed by a kid that is in 8th grade. I was told that this kid is Cognitive Disabled. This kid told my son that he was going to kill him and he hit him. This all happened on the bus after school. The bus driver did nothing about it. The school and the police know about it. The kid is off the bus and out of school. What are my rights to protect my son?

Any and All answers and commites are welcomed.

StaticFX · Jan 23, 2009, 01:11 PM

Not sure what Cognitive Disabled is, but I think you handled that well.. and it seems the school has as well.

If this kid is out of school and off the bus.. how can he bother your son anymore?

(as a side note, I don't think 8th graders and 1st graders should be anywhere near each other let alone the same bus!! )

Wondergirl · Jan 23, 2009, 01:24 PM

Teach your son how to deal with bullies--don't respond verbally or physically, ignore them, leave the area, report them to an authority figure like a teacher or a parent.

The disabled bully he encountered probably has bullied many others and may be acting out what he's seen on TV or what has been done to him. Usually that's the case with any bully--the bullying is done to show he's in control and to build his own self-worth.

earl237 · Feb 4, 2009, 03:51 PM

I was bullied in school, and I can tell you from experience that the politically correct ways of dealing with them such as ignoring them or crying to the teacher or parents don't work and will make the situation worse. Being a snitch or not fighting back will only make you even more of a target. When I was bullied by the same jerk many times, I finally had enough so I put a padlock in my socks and hit him in the head with it. I gave him a concussion and he had to go to summerschool to finish the year and soon moved away. No one ever bullied me again. Even if you fight back and lose, it will still get you more respect than not fighting at all and bullies will soon leave you alone.

Wondergirl · Feb 4, 2009, 09:29 PM

Originally Posted by earl237

I was bullied in school, and I can tell you from experience that the politically correct ways of dealing with them such as ignoring them or crying to the teacher or parents don't work and will make the situation worse. Being a snitch or not fighting back will only make you even more of a target. When I was bullied by the same jerk many times, I finally had enough so I put a padlock in my socks and hit him in the head with it. I gave him a concussion and he had to go to summerschool to finish the year and soon moved away. No one ever bullied me again. Even if you fight back and lose, it will still get you more respect than not fighting at all and bullies will soon leave you alone.

Boy, you sure showed him, didntja!

Study a little psychology, have several kids, and teach school for at least 10 years, then you and I will talk again about this.

earl237 · Feb 5, 2009, 06:43 AM

There is no need to be sarcastic. Just because you studied psychology, have kids and are a teacher does not mean you are automatically right. Anyone who has been bullied will agree with me. Psychology will not help you when someone bigger than you is trying to beat you up.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 5, 2009, 07:24 AM

Both ideas have their place, first a 8th grader is going to be hugh compaired to a 1st grader. Next was there cameras on the buses, most of ours have them, if so ask to review the tape.

Were there medical needs, did your son go to the doctor, then you can expect either the school of the family of the bully to pay those costs.

Does your son need counseling for this attack, the parents of that bully may well be liable.

Approach the parent teacher group, is this type of behavior standard on buses in this school district.

Was the bus driver lack in their duties, but to be honest hard to drive and watch kids at same time.

Mymama · Feb 9, 2009, 06:40 AM

There is a update... The 8th grader has been kicked out of school and off the bus until after spring break. They are going to put a aid on the bus. The 8th grader has a history of doing this and is in trouble at school all the time. As a mother I had to do what I thought was best for my son and for the rest of the kids on the bus, so the law was brought in. I am a here to protect my kids. The cop said all this kid will get is a slap on the hand and community work maybe. I just don't want this kid on the bus. He has a brother that is going to a different school. Why can't he go to the same school as his brother? All I want is for this kid to leave the other kids alone. I know that when kids bully that makes themselves feel powerful but look what it does to the others. The others will try to get even and their anger just builds and builds until they do something that they can't take back! That is something that I don't want for my son or the other kids on his bus. Am I wrong to think like this?

Fr_Chuck · Feb 9, 2009, 06:58 AM

Now lets play this the other way,
if you were the parent of the other child, he has a learning disablity from the best I can understand, perhaps he was sent to this school as part of a parenting plan with the school district because this school offered him a better chance at learning.

So no he is not in school and going to be forced to repeat this grade in school again, lowering his self worth and value even more.

While I feel punish is needed, the seriousness of the injury your child received was never explained,

what level medical care was needed, how bad was your child hurt.

Would have merely being keep off the bus, so the parents had to drive him to school, not solved YOUR issues without hurting the educational process of this child.

Was or is there another program the school offers, in one where I sub taught, they had a program that helped kids with social issues.

To deprive one child access to education as a punishment somehow seems to defeat the purpose.***

*** someone help me I am starting to sound like a liberal***

Wondergirl · Feb 9, 2009, 10:42 AM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

To deprive one child access to education as a punishment somehow seems to defeat the purpose.***

*** someone help me I am starting to sound like a liberal***

Lolololol You are so funny, FrChuck!

Could an adult (not the OP) ride the bus for a while? Has anyone talked with the bully about his behavior? Certainly there must be a social worker or counselor somewhere in his life if the family is dealing with his disabilities. I'd interact with the bully to figure out why is he acting that way.

earl237 · Feb 9, 2009, 04:02 PM

I think that bullying and youth crime is mainly the fault of society's lenient approach to punishment of children. The reason kids commit so much crime is because they know they will get little, if any punishment if caught. Schools, police and parents need to get over their "boys will be boys" and "part of growing up" attitudes and start giving harsh punishment to young offenders. If an adult went to work and called his co-workers names, punched them and stole from them, they would be fired on the spot and probably arrested. Why should kids be expected to put up with behavior that would be unthinkable for adults in the workplace? If bullying was taken more seriously by school officials, tragedies like the Columbine shootings would not be happening and children would be much safer at school. Kids must have discipline when they are very young if they are to become responsible, mature adults.

Mymama · Feb 16, 2009, 05:54 AM

My son had a mark on him from where the bully hit him. No it was not anything big, but point being that kid hit my son and kids SHOULD FEEL SAFE on the bus. This kid has a history of being a jerk on the bus and in school. I feel bad for turn to the law but then I need to think of my son and ALL of the other kids on the bus. I don't want people to think of me as a bad mom that turned to the cops. When is enough enough? Why should kids be scared to ride the school bus? This kid has a brother that is in a different school because of the same issues.