[Gloria80]

Hello everyone!
I have this girl friend of mine, we´ve known each other since we where 15 years old. We where BFFs, and even though we lived far away from each other we kept a tight bond by phone, mail, and we spent most of our holidays together. We had great connection: we could freely talk about how ****ed-up we where, and teenage stuff. But most important, our relation was intellectually and emotionally challenging for both of us, in a profound way. We are both very intelligent and mental so we where always pushing each other to the edge, which was enriching for both of us.
We grew up then: we both turned in professional successful good-looking women. The BFF-giggling-teenage daily life-stuff ended, but the connection is still there. Two years ago we went traveling through Europe together, the trip was amazing, but at the end of the trip, I started feeling weird about each other. Little afterwards she came out of the closet and told me she was having a relationship with a woman.
The thing is now I can't stop thinking about her. It´s not that I like women in general, it´s just her. She keeps popping up in my dreams, and I can't help it. I had many straight relationships in the past, I like men, and I enjoy the sex and everything. Even more, I can't figure myself in bed with a woman, But why can't I take this girl out of my head?
Furthermore, she is very affectionate, she says she misses me, she says she loves me (in a friendly way), and that she admires me, she keeps on saying thing like “we are like John and Yoko� or “Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre�. But Why?
She lives in another state, and she is involved with someone, so what's the point of coming clean? But sometimes I feel she is looking forward to me to do so. On the other hand, I don't want to blow this friendship. Please, help!! It´s killing me, and I don't know what to do.
Thanks

[Synnen]

How old are you both?

[Gloria80]

Hi! 30, both

[JudyKayTee]

She already told you (some time ago) that she was in a lesbian relationship. Why would you hesitate to tell her you find her attractive, exactly what you've told us?

It's not like she's going to be shocked. She may have confided in you for a reason - to see how you would respond.

[Gloria80]

Thanks for the advice. I'm feeling much better now. Just the fact of writing it down has been a huge relief. In one hand, if I do come clean, I'm afraid that there is no way we've be building a new relationship (cause of the distance, and her girlfriend) and I'm afraid of losing her. On the other hand I cannot live my life asking myself ´what if´, that's not the way I am. Anyway, the next time she comes to Town… We'll see.

[Gloria80]

30 years old, both of us.

[rebeccahstrean]

The way I see it is that you are her best friend. Yes she did confined in you. And yes she did tell you she was a lesbien. And yes you want to tell her you are attracted to her. Do so. But keep in mind... That sometimes when you date your best friend and it doesn't work out sometimes you lose that best friend. So you have to come to an agreement if it ever gets to that point ever! The whole thing about "what if thats not the way I am?" Well you never will know till you try. I've tried it before. I liked being with a girl but I never could love a girl so I figured Im straight. The only way you will ever know is to try. But remember if she's in a relationship you don't want to mess it up for her. If she's happy then let it go. Think of it as a straight relationship- Tell her how you feel but make sure you tell her that you don't want to come between her and her girlfriend cause its not right. I hope this helps.