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    Shenekey's Avatar
    Shenekey Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 8, 2015, 03:02 AM
    Aimless. Help?
    I'm 20 years old and graduated university 6 months ago with great scores so naturally the next step anyone would opt for is to apply for jobs/do an internship. Now I started doing part time jobs because I wanted new experiences and got a bit carried away thinking about the easy money. Currently, I'm not doing anything and in order for me to apply for a job I need to complete a certain task and this one is an elephant which I'm not willing to cut and swallow just yet. There's too much to do. The other problem is that I feel like maybe this is not my field of interest and I may have a made a mistake choosing that subject but also I know I want to be somewhere around this field.
    Sometimes I also feel like I fear the idea of working and maybe sucking at it.
    I'm willing to get out of my comfort zone and have new experiences but something just does not feel right about me. I feel lost, out of focus and numb and that's why I need direction.


    Please help me.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Nov 8, 2015, 04:00 AM
    Easy, get off your lazy and do it.

    Sorry, someone, like your parents need to be pushing you, if you do not want to do anything.

    You apply, and apply and apply, does not even have to be in your field of study, a lot of people never work in their field.

    So you fail, then you merely start again, and learn from prior mistakes, seldom do any of the great business people not fail, (many times) in the beginning.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #3

    Nov 8, 2015, 04:14 AM
    You sound like most 20 year olds who don't have a career path chosen, or grad school. You have spent your entire life being directed, and now you have to direct yourself. Most of us have no choice about work, however. If your parents are supporting you, it's time they stop, or you could go on like this for years.

    Please explain what 'in order for me to apply for a job I need to complete a certain task' means. You need transcripts from school? How monumental can this task be?

    My take on being 20 is this: It can be both a serious effort to plot out the future, AND it can be some casting about while trying different things. I find that a piece of paper and a pencil helps me plan big. It sounds corny, but try writing down some dreamy dreams, and some immediate concrete needs. Be sure to include financial considerations, because I have a feeling that you have not had to worry about money yet. You could divide the paper into quadrants, near term, long term, far fetched, possible now.
    Jake2008's Avatar
    Jake2008 Posts: 6,721, Reputation: 3460
    Emotional Health Expert
     
    #4

    Nov 8, 2015, 06:32 AM
    I assume that you are living at home with your parents, otherwise, the need to support yourself independently would outweigh any hesitation in at least attempting to find work in your field.

    Most don't have the luxury of thinking about changing direction after graduation.

    It is a transition to switch from one path to another. For you the transition now is going from school, to the working world, particularly into something that you have studied for and should be prepared for. (at least somewhat)

    It sounds to me like you are in a rut. Maybe it is time to think about the positive side of taking that inevitable step into the adult, working world. Many do not have any choices, and out of need and necessity, take what ever they can find. Your advantage is obvious- a college graduate has more opportunity to find employment that reflects their chosen career path.

    Life is about changes, and sometimes seemingly drastic ones. But, it is one you have to make, and not waste time doing it. Six months is long enough to plan a little bit, and figure out your life, along with your ability to support that life.

    If you want your own place, and your own independence, and the challenge of a new job, then now is the time to do it, rather than continue to wallow in the misery of not wanting what you want. You decided your 'fate' with the degree, and all the hard work in getting that degree.

    When you have that job, and you are established and secure in being independent and supporting yourself, then would be the time to consider options. Whether it be within the field of study you graduated with, or another completely different career path. Not all of us who graduate know exactly what we want, many times it involves, again, being willing to make changes.

    Those changes may be additional education, i.e. night school, online classes, etc. in order to add a qualification to what you have, or to get an entirely new path. But, there will always be a transition period.

    Bottom line, if you are not motivated, and keep wallowing in this self doubt, and throwing excuses around, you will remain where you are.

    Make the effort, cross the finish line, and get a job in your field.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Nov 8, 2015, 06:58 AM
    For a 20 year old you seem to have many options and opportunities that to be honest many do not have. For that be grateful, and build on it, by EXPLORING them. List the choices you have and evaluate them. Start with where you want to be in 5 years, and figure which one gets you the best chance of getting there. Then just go for it!

    That is if you are truly willing to leave your comfort zone and explore and experiment. Maybe the wise counsel of an older trusted person in your life could help guide you, like a parent, teacher, counsellor. Don't hesitate to reach out to them, just to help with gaining a better/different perspective from their experience.

    Set a reasonable time table to gather FACTS, and make a decision. My own experience has been that even if a decision doesn't work as well as you thought, you may have other options and opportunities to explore, and can make adjustments to the course of your life.

    Doing NOTHING is NOT a reasonable option though.

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