[linnealand]

Mewokbobb, I really want to make sure that I'm understanding this situation properly, so let me just see if I'm gathering the right information before I actually respond. Okay, here we go:

He's opposed to the use of condoms?

And he's 19?

And I'm guessing that you might be 19 at the most, if not a little younger?

And you use the pull-out method as your only form of "birth control"?

And you don't think the risk of pregnancy is a real issue that would be cause for anxiety?

And you usually have sex 2 or 3 times a day?

And you make sex all about him, and he doesn't reciprocate?

And you've never had an orgasm?

And, interrupting sex, he will pull out and masturbate for up to 20 minutes to orgasm?

And he doesn't want you to help by touching him then?

And you just sit there twiddling your thumbs or something in the meantime?

And now he has trouble getting hard with you?

And you think that losing 20 pounds off your normal, healthy weight, which would put you at 96 pounds at 5'3'', might make things better?

If there's a mistake in there, please let me know.

[smoothy]

He is spanking the monkey far too often... the point is not to do it until you can't do it any more... which is exactly what it sounds like to me that he has been doing.

Doing it too much (as in too frequently every day) will present exactly those symptoms. It will be hard to get off, it will be difficult to maintain erection...

And I am qualifying this statement assuming that he isn't a diabetic or on on High blood pressure or anti-anxiety or anti-depression drugs.

[Synnen]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ed-277476.html

Why people don't put the WHOLE story in one post is beyond me.

Honestly? I'm guessing that sex that often, combined with the fact that he just MIGHT be (and probably has, if he isn't now) cheating on you means that when he can't get hard, it's because he's not really that into you--or something along those lines.

Pill or not, STDs are a factor in sex too.

Go get tested for them. Today. Tomorrow. VERY soon.

And break up with this jerk. It doesn't sound like you two do anything together but have sex anyway.

[smoothy]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ed-277476.html

Why people don't put the WHOLE story in one post is beyond me.

Honestly? I'm guessing that sex that often, combined with the fact that he just MIGHT be (and probably has, if he isn't now) cheating on you means that when he can't get hard, it's because he's not really that into you--or something along those lines.

Pill or not, STDs are a factor in sex too.

Go get tested for them. Today. Tomorrow. VERY soon.

And break up with this jerk. It doesn't sound like you two do anything together but have sex anyway.

Very good catch Synnen.

Let me revise what I said... I'm in the ballpark with it. He's not spanking his monkey too often... he's knocking the bottom out too often and obviously not with her.

[Amydawn12354]

I really think he is just feeling pressured being put on the spot... And it's really terrifying for some guys to even think about getting a girl pregnant (I know from my own experience with my bf). I think he just feels pressured. Maybe just let him know it's okay and you understand why he's doing that and just stay cool about it. Everyone really is different with how they are sexually!

[asking]

I really think he is just feeling pressured being put on the spot... And it's really terrifying for some guys to even think about getting a girl pregnant (I know from my own experience with my bf). I think he just feels pressured. Maybe just let him know it's okay and you understand why he's doing that and just stay cool about it. Everyone really is different with how they are sexually!

Read the other post. OP is on the pill and boyfriend cheats regularly.

Meowkibobb,
Stop trying to please this guy. Tell him you are through and go no contact. It will be hard at first, but you'll get over it faster than you think.

He is a disaster of a boyfriend. Find someone who will not cheat on you, not lie to you, make love to you properly, and bake cookies. :) You can do so much better! (And do get checked for STDs.)

[SweetDee]

He has trouble getting hard and YOUR plan is to put that on YOURSELF and take the responsibility by losing weight? Girl, the boy is ONLY 19! At that age boys can get a boner from looking at raw liver that has fallen to the floor by accident!! LMAO!

This has nothing to do w/ YOU. It truly is not a healthy situation that a 19 year old boy/man cannot get an erection. He clearly needs to figure that out. Maybe he's under some kind of stress, I mean you did say that it's recent, right?

When I mentioned that you both should go to therapy I was thinking about sex therapy... but then I didn't realize how young ya'all were, specifically him... (being that he's in the PRIME of his sexual life!! )

Don't you both think that you're a tad young to be talking about marriage.. It's just that you have your WHOLE life ahead of you. What is the rush?

I'm not sure that you won't get insulted again by me but I'll say it anyhow... what's up w/ always putting HIS needs up and above your own? Do you just not really benefit from the pleasures of sex.. I can understand you wanting to please your man...

Did you mention that having an orgasm with him has not happened? Do you have trouble achieving an orgasm alone?

Would marrying this man and not having orgasms be okay for the rest of your life?

At what point do you get to take YOUR TURN and enjoy a sensual lovemaking... and it be about YOU??

I just feel that we, as women need to empower ourselves and not conceed to anyone... much less any MAN.

EQUALITY...

Sexual gratification between two lovers is so utterly awesome. I would wish that for EVERY women. I wish this for you.

[djdj12438]

Maybe for a last resort you can always turn to viagra.

[SweetDee]

Omg! LMAO, djdj12438 that's so true and so funny all at one time! VIAGRA at 19!!

Wow, that's truly sad... and kind of not funny either. :(

[starbuck8]

He can't get it up because he has been screwing everything else that moves. She needs to leave him yesterday!

Refer to latest question by OP.

[k2boy]

mewokbobb, i really want to make sure that i'm understanding this situation properly, so let me just see if i'm gathering the right information before i actually respond. okay, here we go:

he's opposed to the use of condoms?

and he's 19?

and i'm guessing that you might be 19 at the most, if not a little younger?

and you use the pull-out method as your only form of "birth control"?

and you don't think the risk of pregnancy is a real issue that would be cause for anxiety?

and you usually have sex 2 or 3 times a day?

and you make sex all about him, and he doesn't reciprocate?

and you've never had an orgasm?

and, interrupting sex, he will pull out and masturbate for up to 20 minutes to orgasm?

and he doesn't want you to help by touching him then?

and you just sit there twiddling your thumbs or something in the meantime?

and now he has trouble getting hard with you?

and you think that losing 20 pounds off of your normal, healthy weight, which would put you at 96 pounds at 5'3'', might make things better?

if there's a mistake in there, please let me know.

This is so conflicting

[meowkibobb]

He has trouble getting hard and YOUR plan is to put that on YOURSELF and take the responsibility by losing weight? Girl, the boy is ONLY 19! At that age boys can get a boner from looking at raw liver that has fallen to the floor by accident!!!!! LMAO!

This has nothing to do w/ YOU. It truly is not a healthy situation that a 19 year old boy/man cannot get an erection. He clearly needs to figure that out. Maybe he's under some kind of stress, I mean you did say that it's recent, right?

When I mentioned that you both should go to therapy I was thinking about sex therapy...but then I didn't realize how young ya'all were, specifically him...(being that he's in the PRIME of his sexual life!!!!!!)

Don't you both think that you're a tad young to be talking about marriage..? It's just that you have your WHOLE life ahead of you. What is the rush?

I'm not sure that you won't get insulted again by me but I'll say it anyhow...what's up w/ always putting HIS needs up and above your own? Do you just not really benifit from the pleasures of sex..? I can understand you wanting to please your man...

Did you mention that having an orgasm with him has not happened? Do you have trouble achieving an orgasm alone?

Would marrying this man and not having orgasms be okay for the rest of your life?

At what point do you get to take YOUR TURN and enjoy a sensual lovemaking...and it be about YOU?????

I just feel that we, as women need to empower ourselves and not conceed to anyone...much less any MAN.

EQUALITY...

Sexual gratification between two lovers is so utterly awesome. I would wish that for EVERY women. I wish this for you.

Thank you for your advice and your kind words
If we were to get married it wouldn't be now maybe in a good 5 years. (what he says)
No I never had an orgasm with him, embarrassing as it is I have one without him.
He's not under stress, he seems pretty content with life right now... I made a different post if you haven't looked at it and I'm thinking his ability not ot get hard has to deal with that post.
Thank you very much for your time to answer my questions back <3 have a beautiful day

[meowkibobb]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...ed-277476.html

Why people don't put the WHOLE story in one post is beyond me.

Honestly? I'm guessing that sex that often, combined with the fact that he just MIGHT be (and probably has, if he isn't now) cheating on you means that when he can't get hard, it's because he's not really that into you--or something along those lines.

Pill or not, STDs are a factor in sex too.

Go get tested for them. Today. Tomorrow. VERY soon.

And break up with this jerk. It doesn't sound like you two do anything together but have sex anyway.

We do more than have sex, and I maybe didn't clarify it more, but its more than just sex. It's a very emotional relationship and sex is just plus.
Ever since I wrote that post we haven't done it, I brought up the other problems and the problem that he can't get hard.
He's not very happy with it, but tough cookie, with all the responses I've gotten I'm guessing it's a must.
A community college by me does free STD and AIDS/HIV testing... no stds and no aids/hiv
I also wanted to thank you for your time to answer my questions.

[meowkibobb]

I really think he is just feeling pressured being put on the spot... And it's really terrifying for some guys to even think about getting a girl pregnant (I know from my own experience with my bf). I think he just feels pressured. Maybe just let him know it's okay and you understand why he's doing that and just stay cool about it. Everyone really is different with how they are sexually!

Thank you for your response, but its deff. Not that fact he's scared of getting me pregnant. I've realized a lot of things this past week, and its not stress, nor the stress of becoming a parent so soon.
Don't mean to rant.
Thanks for your advice

[meowkibobb]

maybe for a last resort you can always turn to viagra.

Lol thanks for your advice ;)

[meowkibobb]

If your having sex 3+ times a day where is real life coming into this? Go out for a walk or go see a movie or do something like bake some cookies next time instead of heading to the bedroom.

Im sorry if you find it offending but 3 times a day everyday IS excesive imo. Anyone else agree?

See I'm sorry I didn't make it clear... we don't only just have sex.
We spend a lot of time together, and we do a lot of things, usually sex happens at night after we do things.
Its not just sex sex sex.
Looking at the responses I've gotten I've put an end to having sex with him and see what happens.

[meowkibobb]

You are lucky you have not go pregnant already. If he is hard, his preejaculate can impregnate you, even if he pulls out and masturbates to finish.

Withdrawal, which is what it sounds like you are practicing in an odd form, is a very poor form of birth control with a high failure rate. If he won't use a condom, then you get a diaphragm and use it every time, or, better yet, go on the pill or get an injection. If you don't want a baby, use birth control. Go to Planned Parenthood, a doctor or clinic and they will help you choose the right method.

I agree with everyone else that his problem is having sex too frequently and, when you do have sex, he should be spending more time helping you climax. I suspect you'll like it. :)

Thank you for your advice, but it has nothing to do with getting pregnant. I've already asked him. It's a different issue with that.
I've stopped having sex with him completely now, and see what happens

[laynayumi]

Clearly it has to do with cheating you should view the other answer I put in your other post I'm a summing about the same "guy."