Hello livebait,
Firstly, congratulations on your approaching marriage. I hope you both have a wonderful day.
There are a lot of myths about a woman losing her virginity. Some people and cultures think that it must hurt when the sexual act is first performed. This is not necessarily the case. Although it is possible that the woman or the man could experience discomfort or a little pain if either or both are tense or if the woman's vagina is not moist and receptive.
It is true that some women can bleed when the hymen is initially broken or even on the second, third or fourth time that sexual intercourse takes place but again the most likely cause is because she is tense and not moist enough.
When you make love for the first time, try to get the time and conditions right. If you are not both ready when you first enter the marital bed, there is no law saying you have to perform the sexual act on your wedding night. Although every one expects that this will occur on this day, you both want to be able to remember your first sexual union fondly and not as a task that has to be performed on the day you get married. If you are not both ready, don't worry about it and don't feel obligated by what society expects.
When you sleep together for the first time, be gentle and caring toward each other, take it slowly and there is every chance that you will both become relaxed enough and want to take that 'first' step. But if not, you have plenty of time. You have waited this long so a little longer will not do either of you any harm. This is something very personal to you both and it is for you both to decide when the time is right. It is no ones business whether you make love on your wedding night or not, this is personal to you. You don't have to publish details in the national press or on a prominent notice board.
If you are both concerned that your new wife may bleed and it may leave a stain on the bed clothes, place something to prevent this. If she does bleed it is likely only to be a few spots, not puddles of it.
The hymen is not as tough as leather and it does not require brute force to break and gentle pressure should be sufficient to break it.
My advice is for both of you to see your doctor and ask his/her advice and get your information from them. You may feel a little embarrassed but don't be I am sure they will be more than happy to help.
Below is are a couple of websites that you may both find informative and helpful and a Search Engine search will provide more. The first link if a pdf file.
http://www.rutgersnissogroep.nl/rutg...b5a35021aafeb2 http://www.sexual-health-resource.org/virginity.htm
Although I am sure you are aware, it is still possible for a virgin to become pregnant the first time she has unprotected sexual intercourse. If neither of you want to take the chance of this happening, please take the necessary precautions.
Finally, talk to your fiancé and let her know your concerns. I am sure she will appreciate it and understand.
I hope this has been of help to you and may I wish you a long, happy and loving life together.
Cy
(Poseidon)
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