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    Bural21's Avatar
    Bural21 Posts: 190, Reputation: 18
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    #1

    Nov 5, 2008, 05:04 PM
    Orgasm confusion.
    I am sexually active with my boyfriend of nearly 2 years. (Obviously) And I am a little confused. I can achieve an orgasm through masturbation, I can achieve one through mutual masturbation, and obviously through clitoral stimulation. However, sex... I'm not sure. I REALLY enjoy having sex, and how it feels, but I don't know if I'm reaching an orgasm. I do shake and tremble, and get hot, and get the chills. But I don't know when I'm coming.

    Any tips, tricks, ideas, suggestions, etc?
    Xrayman's Avatar
    Xrayman Posts: 1,177, Reputation: 193
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    #2

    Nov 5, 2008, 05:08 PM

    Read the bazillion responses to "lack of orgasm through sex" on this site, basically, very few women climax through penetration alone. Obviously you are not one of them, you may have to self-stimulate or have him stimulate you during coitus (sexual penetration)
    Bural21's Avatar
    Bural21 Posts: 190, Reputation: 18
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    #3

    Nov 5, 2008, 05:23 PM

    I'm not quite sure IF I am having an orgasm though... I feel relieved, I just don't feel the same after I have a clitoral orgasm, but still feel good.
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
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    #4

    Nov 5, 2008, 05:51 PM

    A woman *always* knows when she is having an orgasm. So, I would say you are just feeling good.

    There are many posts and answers here, varied and helpful; best you go back and read these. :)
    Xrayman's Avatar
    Xrayman Posts: 1,177, Reputation: 193
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    #5

    Nov 5, 2008, 08:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Bural21 View Post
    I'm not quite sure IF I am having an orgasm though... I feel relieved, I just don't feel the same after I have a clitoral orgasm, but still feel good.
    When you say relieved, does that mean you are satisfied and would be happy to fall asleep? Or do you want more and if you get it more, do you still want more? If so, then it would probably not be an orgsm that you are having, just nice feelings. Sorry.
    Bonita--'s Avatar
    Bonita-- Posts: 301, Reputation: 17
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    #6

    Nov 5, 2008, 10:22 PM
    I have the same problem. I can orgasm through clitoral stimulation but I don't know if I do during sex. I was reading online that some signs are muscles tensing up, harder breathing, feeling hot and sweating, nipples hardening etc. Personally I didn't find it too helpful, I was looking for something more specific, but it's all I could find.
    spyderglass's Avatar
    spyderglass Posts: 434, Reputation: 34
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    #7

    Nov 5, 2008, 10:49 PM

    Have you tried woman-on-top? Sometimes when you are 'feeling it out' and controlling penetration you can orgasm.
    simoneaugie's Avatar
    simoneaugie Posts: 2,490, Reputation: 438
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    #8

    Nov 5, 2008, 11:01 PM

    A vaginal orgasm feels enough like a clitoral one that you will know, not wonder. When the penis is welcomed and wanted (clitoral stimulation may be necessary too,) the female body is able to orgasm while a penis is in the vagina. It feels amazing!

    A female orgasm consists of muscular contractions pulling inward. If you are feeling invaded, reamed or pounded and it is in any way unwanted, the natural reaction is to push. Vaginal orgasms consist of pulling. That is why is often works better when the woman is on top during sex. On top, you can stop or change the angle if it begins to feel invasive.

    Guys aren't born knowing what to do in bed. What works well for them is frequently at odds with what works for women. Talk about it with him, lots. Sexual problem-solving is fun.
    linnealand's Avatar
    linnealand Posts: 1,088, Reputation: 216
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    #9

    Nov 6, 2008, 04:52 AM

    I agree with choux. A woman always knows when she's having an orgasm. Sometimes it will make you see colors and stars and make you think you're going to pass out from pleasure. Sometimes it's not as intense, and what you experience is just a series of very pleasurable contractions. If you're experiencing pulsating contractions that you're not doing on purpose, then you've just had an orgasm. If you don't feel the muscles doing that, you're just really enjoying the experience.

    I hope you get to the stage with the rainbows and butterflies. Your description of shaking, trembling, getting hot, and getting the chills are good signs. If you keep going like that, I'm sure you'll reach the promised land.
    Handyman2007's Avatar
    Handyman2007 Posts: 988, Reputation: 73
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    #10

    Dec 21, 2008, 09:58 AM

    Not all orgasms are bombs exploding, lightning flashes, etc. Some women just do not have orgasms during intercourse but that doesn't mean they aren't enjoying themselves.
    roxypox's Avatar
    roxypox Posts: 1,028, Reputation: 328
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    #11

    Dec 21, 2008, 03:47 PM
    Yeah a woman does know when she is having an orgasm... personally though I think that the feeling I get from a vaginal orgasm and from stimulating the clitoris feels different to me... still great, but different. (hehe just wanted to say that)

    What positions do you use? Some might work better for you when it comes to vaginal orgasms...

    Sex Positions - Photos, Tips & New Ideas

    The link says something about the subject...
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