I don't understand what I am doing wrong, because I feel absolutely NO pleasure when I am having sex. I recently lost my virginity to him but I'm past the sex hurting me, and now I feel nothing, no pain but no pleasure. This has been going on for some time and it's making me lose interest in sex We've tried new positions and tried making the sex lengthy. Any advice to a newbie at this stuff??

Myth

Explore yourself. Find out what makes you feel good and then show him... I know that probably sounds weird but if you don't know what you like how's he sapposed to know? btw how old are you?

Jesushelper76

Foreplay, More Foreplay then extra Foreplay. Just intercourse and different positions will not only help, but taking time. Another thing is expectations of amazing sex takes times. It is a learning experiance. It does take practise. Oh yes, I agree with above. Pleasure yourself. Learn and explore your own body then you will be able to show your other half what makes you feel good. That is the best way to learn. One more thing. RELAX. Too many expectations, too much stress and nervousness will effect your level of pleasure.


Joe

Krs

yes yes yes to Jesushelper76.. who surely knows the score.

If you just lost your virginity to him and you are not enjoying it you are both doing something wrong, when a woman initally starts to expierence the sex world it should be the best.

foreplay is essential - foreplay is what makes most woman orgasm and not the sex alone! Not the different positions, its exciting each other before actual intercourse.
Experiment with foreplay...
something that i know would probably excite you.. is a massage with oils... and let the good times roll
Have Fun.

f4af2007

These all sound like great suggestions, thank you!!! I'm such a n00b compared to him lol, I haven't even had any oral sex so maybe that's what we should try....my friends tell me that's the best. I'm 18 by the way.

Krs

Once we're on oral sex.... i can tell you that - that should definitley make u orgasm...
What is your bf waiting for.....
Are you sure its not his first time either????

Chery

Honey, to put it bluntly, you probably lost your virginity under pressure to do so, and not because you got turned on, felt romance, and probably were not even in the mood.

So, you got past the hurting, and now you feel nothing - that's a sure sign of 'not being interested'. The guy probably just got in and out, and he's only thinking of 'getting off' and not even worried whether you like it or not.

I sure hope that you are not making any long lasting future plans with him in them, because you need to get to know some guys that are not so self-centered.

Sex should be fun! It should not be a chore, or something to kill time with. And it never should be something to do after a date on Friday night! If you 'feel' obligated to 'please' him for some stupid reason, forget it.

You need to explore yourself, your feelings about the art of 'giving' and 'receiving' - and it should be 'arousing' YOU, not the other way around.

It depends how he treats you when in public, working up to 'later'. If he is a jerk all day and expects you to be all 'lovey-dovey' in the evening, then he's not tuned in on your feelings. If you don't feel the 'tingle' when he calls or when you are with him, them something very crucial is missing - maybe no respect...

Hope you find someone who respects you and can turn you on to toe-curling feelings and fun!

Life's too short - don't waste it.

P.S. If you suggest oral sex, and he wants to be 'first' - he's probably only thinking of himself, therefore, he will never strive to satisfy you.

rjrhea

I agree with Myth and Jesushelper, you need to get to know yourself. I'm a 35 yr old woman who can honestly say I almost always have multiple orgasms. Its not because I'm oversexed, I've just learned to explore my own sexuality and I know what makes me get off. And I truly believe that at least 50% to 75% of it is MENTAL, not physical! Yes, it is! My BEST advice is to FORGET ABOUT PLEASING HIM! Just concentrate on yourself and getting yourself off. Trust me, when he sees (and hears - don't be shy about making a little noise when it starts to get good!) that you are really getting into it, he will get much more pleasure out of it too. I'll tell you - it works every time! And don't be bashful about using your own fingers to provide stimulus to yourself during the act. Penetration only normally doesn't work for me (and most women), I need the extra stimulus. When I learned this trick, I went multi. And once you have the first, then the next comes around much quicker and stronger, and then the next...:-) I've never had a partner who thought this made me less of "a good girl" or whatever (I am a professional high-end managerial career oriented woman). When you are with a committed partner, there is nothing "taboo" or "wrong" to do unless it makes one of you feel uncomfortable. You just have to have an open mind and allow yourself to just feel good!

letmetellu

f4af2007 I don't understand what I am doing wrong, because I feel absolutely NO pleasure when I am having sex. I recently lost my virginity to him but I'm past the sex hurting me, and now I feel nothing, no pain but no pleasure. This has been going on for some time and it's making me lose interest in sex We've tried new positions and tried making the sex lengthy. Any advice to a newbie at this stuff??

f4af2007 You said in your post that you feel absolutely nothing.....you must feel something. At least disapointment or something surely you must have been expecting something, if not the first time then later on, the second time or third or so on. Have you dated much? and if so on these dates did you get turned on? And on these dates was there any making out during the dates? And during the making out did you have any feelings that might have been sexual desire? If a guy played with your breast did you get any type physical reaction such as your nipples becoming erect or a feeling in your groin of tightness or anything down there. If you have not ever had any of these feeling it could be that you are just not ready for sexual activity.
Others have suggested that you explore your own body to see what turns you on and what feels good to you. You didn't ever say whether you had ever done this or not. If you can I also suggest you do this. I say if you can because for some reason or the other some girls just do not feel comfortable doing the things suggested. If that is the case do some reading or go to someone that you trust and talk to them. Slowly you will overcome that fear that you have. Good luck to you. And don't have sex with this guy just because he wants to....wait till you think you want to.

f4af2007

I have been turned on when I make out with a guy and have felt all that passion and desire. I just am completely dumbfounded as to why I don't feel any pain NOR pleasure during sex! Since my first post we've tried different positions and other different things...he's even gone down on me before we have sex, it's new to me and it feels GREAT, but then when we have sex RIGHT after the pleasure is gone and I'm back to feel nothingness. I've masterbated before too and that doesn't seem to help at all... it's really frustrating the both of us. I don't know there is left to do...I don't think it's a mental thing that blocking it because I really do care for this guy a lot, and he's proven to me that he cares too...and I'm at the point where I feel completely comfortable with him naked...it's not an insecurity thing...I just don't know, but I really appreciate all the feedback I have gotten so far about it. I just wonder if there are girls who just don't get pleasure during sex period! Ugggh I hope that's not me.