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    marie1's Avatar
    marie1 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 9, 2007, 07:38 PM
    No orgasms ever
    I cannot have orgasms. I am 25 years old. I have been having sex since 16 and have probably had 2 or 3 orgasms ever. I am a sexual person. I am a horny person, yet never an orgasm. I am now married and very attracted to my husband but still no orgasm. I also can't masturbate. I feel dirty doing it. Any answers?
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #2

    Jan 9, 2007, 08:14 PM
    The only reason why you can not orgasm is because you do not know enough about your body to actually know how to reach orgasm. If you do not explore your own body. If you do not masterbate, you will never know how to reach orgasm. How is your husband supposed to know how to make you feel good, if your unwilling to find out for yourself? Masterbate. You should not feel dirty doing it. That is my answer.

    That is the only thing that will help you. In my opinion.

    Joe
    Kristy40's Avatar
    Kristy40 Posts: 13, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Jan 10, 2007, 09:21 AM
    Very well said! Don't be afraid to experiment with yourself, it's not dirty and don't let anyone or anything make you feel that way.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #4

    Jan 10, 2007, 09:28 AM
    It's easy to say "don't feel dirty" but it's hard to overcome that feeling.

    Maybe you could slowly work up to masturbation? Perhaps do it with your husband at first, and then just lightly for short periods, rather than just jumping right into it? I agree that the best way to orgasm is to learn your own body, and the best way to do that is to masturbate, but I also know it's hard to get past those feelings of being dirty or bad.
    tamed's Avatar
    tamed Posts: 255, Reputation: 33
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    #5

    Jan 10, 2007, 10:23 AM
    Well said! In addition to this you could try masturbating when you are alone at home or in the dark (or both). Chances are, your issues are psychological rather than physical.Take it one step at a time and try talking to your husband about your feelings, sometimes it helps to get things out in the open.
    Good luck!
    carrie022023's Avatar
    carrie022023 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jan 10, 2007, 03:00 PM
    All I can say is.. Toys toys toys toys… My husband will not do certain things in the bedroom, and before I was unable to have an orgasm. We introduced toys to the bedroom, and our sex life is great. You should not feel dirty about it. The two of you should look for an adult shop. You will be amazed how friendly people are. They will help you.. Plus, there are all sorts of people who go to those shops. You will be surprised..

    Plus, you need to relax. You can't focus on it. You actually have to take your mind off it. I hope that this helps.
    marie1's Avatar
    marie1 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #7

    Jan 10, 2007, 08:15 PM
    Thank you all so much for the great advice. I think the toys are a great idea. And I really do think that a lot of it at this point is mental. So I think I'm going to try to loosen up, go to the toy store and relax.
    MISSIBAYBE's Avatar
    MISSIBAYBE Posts: 72, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member
    		  
    #8

    Jan 11, 2007, 12:21 PM
    The bullet is a great toy that works for me every time ;)!
    Yankeesfans2's Avatar
    Yankeesfans2 Posts: 13, Reputation: 4
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    #9

    Jan 12, 2007, 12:33 PM
    I am just going to add with everyone else.. toys... espcially get a vibrator!
    ashley132's Avatar
    ashley132 Posts: 34, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member
    		  
    #10

    Jan 18, 2007, 07:26 PM
    Exploring your body is a great way to get to know your body and soon reach the orgasm. I used these step at first to get the perfet orgasm. Explore our body, try different ways in masterbating(use your fingers or even a toy, VIBRATING WORKS BEST)then once your comfortable then move on to sex. You also have to feel comfortable with your husband and his body. Explore his body it just might lead to the perfect orgasm as well.
    bfree9's Avatar
    bfree9 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Jul 4, 2007, 12:01 PM
    If all of the above fails, try visiting a glory hole.
    Xrayman's Avatar
    Xrayman Posts: 1,177, Reputation: 193
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    #12

    Jul 4, 2007, 04:53 PM
    You summed up your problem in the last part of your post... you feel dirty masturbating.

    Like others have posted, sexual technique is not given to you on a siler platter-you have to practise, exactly like a pro golfer (for example), to hit a hole in one-you have to understand your clubs, your hold, your movements, the green, you name it above all you have to practise-masturbation is sex practise-everyone does it and everyone that has had an orgasm has almost undoubtedly masturbated before.

    The human sexual response has to be understood before it can be worked on (so to speak), the mindset that masturbating is dirty (psychologically speaking), makes the sexual response dwindle. Is your body dirty? NO! So get to it and have some "ME TIME".

    This negative thought prevents you from practising (and understanding) what makes YOU feel good and ultimately, orgasmic.


    Cheers,

    Xrayman
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