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Home > Family & People > Adult Sexuality   »   No feeling during sex at all! am i frigid?

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Old Aug 20, 2007, 10:23 AM
moonana
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No feeling during sex at all! am i frigid?

Heyy i have had sex with three people in my life and i am 18! im not proud of it because at this age i feel it is too many but my third is my current boyfriend and we are very much in love! I have never felt anything during sex! i do not get any pleasure out of fingering and i have even tried myself! also i am not that fond of the cliterus (i dont know how to spell it) being stimulated either! i have had no pleasure from anyone and i am starting to worry! i am very comfortable with my boyfriend and allthough we have been seeing eachother for a while, i still sometimes get a butterfly feeling in my stomach when we kiss so i am not getting bored! my turn on is seeing him turned on and i enjoy giving him pleasure too. he tries to pleasure me and it is not all about him! i am so confused, i am completely relaxed during sex and we are adventurous too! he sometimes gets frustrated at why i dont feel anything and i know it would make him happy if he gave me pleasure! but its not all about him! i have tried everything to try and give myself pleasure but nothing works! what is wrong with me, i must be frigid!
 
     

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Old Aug 20, 2007, 03:37 PM   #2  
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The way you put it I feel you have some guilt about the number of sex partners you've had-I think you may need to dispel the guilt on that first.

also The fact that you can't even spell clitoris makes me think you are completely in the dark about the whole organ/subject. you may need to do some reading and have some playtime BY YOURSELF.

If you cannot enjoy sex by yourself by masturbating, there is not much chance of having your BF do it right either. perhaps have him lick and suck and tongue you on your clitoris or near it-if you prefer. the fingering you are alluding to, seems like you are just inserting your fingers nto your vagina-this will probably not give you much pleasure by itself-perhaps the fingering needs to be attempted once you have or become close to climax.

best wishes-but I think you need some "personal time" to get aquainted with your body and how your sexual phisiology works-in other words-have a play, in a relaxed private place, then move up to your BF.

your mind is your biggest sex organ, you may need to excersise it with some personal fantasy as well.

hope this helps

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moonana agrees: nice approach and many aspects to the answer
 
 
     
 
 
Old Aug 21, 2007, 07:58 AM   #3  
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You might also consider bringing a vibrator into the mix. Just laying the vibrator up against your during forplay should give you some type of stimulation. Also, there are lotions and creams that can give you more of a sensation in that region too. Good luck.

P.S.

Don't feel bad about how many sex partners you have had. By the time I was your age, I had been with 5. I am not proud of it but i have excepted it and moved on. Now a days, that is considered pretty normal!

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moonana agrees: relates to my problem
 
 
     
 
 
Old Aug 21, 2007, 07:49 PM   #4  
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So many have said "ignorance is bliss" but bet you it's not true very often. I knew a kid who did not like olives and now; some years later, this grown woman loves them, will not put em dowm. Says she just developed a taste for them. Myself, never liked ice cream.
 
 
     
 
 
Old Aug 22, 2007, 01:12 AM   #5  
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Hi Moonana,
Personally, I started having sex when I wass 17, but I never actually learned to enjoy it until I was about 23! I never had an orgasm either. I can assure you things changed, I am 30 now and love it :-)
Having multiple partners can only teach you things, you just followed your feelings and there is no need to be ashamed.
A womans sexuality is all over the body, and all bodies are different too. For example, it can be very very pleasant to be tickled on your back, or your inner thies (these are usually quite sensitive).
Perhaps you can make a big exploration of your body, it'll be fun. Don't skip a part!
Once you are aroused you can try different things with your aswell. Some little ideas on that - if he likes to lick you, try using the entire face and not just the thoungue on your . Personally I already really enjoy the thought of a man being willing to lick me! And something else, I was never so much of a -woman, but discovered the G-spot, which you can find when you go inside with 1 or 2 fingers, and then press in the soft spot towards the belly, so upwards. Pushing on the tummy at the same time can help you find it and that's pleasant too.
And (I think you already realize this but I mention it anyway) if you enjoy being with him anyway, just go with the flow and forget about all that 'I should be feeling this now'. Accept the way you were constructed and even if you will never experience an orgasm sex can still be a joy.

You Go Girl!
 
 
     
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