Like the other posters, I agree that his masturbation is actually not the issue, but that his attitude towards you pleasuring yourself (either with him or without) is the real issue here.

He sounds selfish to me and out of touch with what women want and feel about sex. The way you describe him sounds as if sex is for his pleasure with little consideration for yours.

I guess you have 2 choices. You can buy yourself a vibrator (which I would strongly suggest) and see to your own pleasure. I would let him know that this is what you've done. What's he going to do? Hold his breath until he turns blue?

However, this is not going to solve the problem in the long term...

Or, you can ask him to work with you in rethinking your sexual relationship; it IS possible to reestablish connection and passion - is he willing to partner with you in doing this? Part of this may be masturbating together, using sex toys and acting out gentle fantasies.

It all boils down to whether you and he think the relationship is important enough to do this. Are you both willing to take the next step?

Masturbation and sex do not always go together some men will masturbate not for sexual enjoyment but rather as a means of relieving stress and also in some cases masturbation has been attributed to depression as well.
Consider how rough his day was and how much stress he has been under before deciding that iit is due to lack of interest or desire.

Thanks to all for your comments. Last night (after a wknd of not speaking), we discussed this topic (for the millionth time in our relationship). I told him I was going to get a vibrator and he didn't resist. Perhaps this is a step in the right direction. He also explained (for the millionth time), that he could easily masturbate in the morning and then have sex in the evening. However, in the evening he is sometimes not in the mood (b/c of stress, being tired or whatever else). What he does in the morning by himself is simply a 5 min routine that he's been doing before I ever even came into the picture. Also, he explained that sometimes he's not in the mood because of the way I act twd him. He gave me some examples (which I don't know if I entirely buy). It's esp hard to accept this excuse when, after a fight, we will make up and then he will use the fight as an excuse 1 or 2 weeks later. Anyway, I do agree w/ most of you in that he has some sort of a problem. Of course masturbation is normal, but I don't think my situation is what I call normal. He doesn't think he has a problem. Time will tell I guess.

Just because you make up after a fight, more often men have a longer period to resolve those feelings and they may affect his libido.

Be patient, one of the first problem areas is intimacy and it will grow to affect the whole relationship. Being physically connected is an important factor in a relationship.