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I have this problem with my husband (or maybe it is with me). Every time he gives me oral it just seems unsatisfying and like nothing's going on for me. I have had other men in my past give me oral sex and it was amazing. But we have been married for 5 years and still no matter how much coaching I give him he just doesn't seem to do it for me. Is there something wrong with me? He says every other girl he's given it to was super happy with the job he did. I don't understand how he could've been satisfying them if he was doing it to them like he does it to me.
I think it might be his technique that doesn't quite do it for me. The part that's frustrating is I've told him where to focus (clitoris) and it's like it requires more effort than he's willing to put it. He says he can't possibly lick my the way I ask him to because it's too hard, fast, crazy. But I've had other guys get me off without even having to say two words to them about what to do.
Poor guy is a bit selfish I guess. Going after the nectar (good tasting parts) instead of something that doesn't taste as good (the ).
Attacking the first thing doesn't work either.
I'll admit, there is a technique and it usually involves teasing and you leave the for last.
Let me describe his technique: It's like the dog trying to lick the bottom of an empty bowl. Right?
Won't work.
I've gotten girls off by saying three words " for me". It worked many times over with this one girl. I call it aural sex. Women can be trained to on command, although she was not so called "trained".t
What works for one woman doesn't usually work for the next woman. He as a guy needs to be able to read your reactions...that along with some verbal ques from you will get you there...but if one of those things breaks down then the show doesn't go on.
Frustration will only hamper that as well. Either he is completely inept...or your coaching isn't specific enough and the poor guy just can't find the donkey to pin the tail on (remember the game of pin the tail on the donkey).
I think it might be his technique that doesn't quite do it for me. The part that's frustrating is I've told him where to focus (clitoris) and it's like it requires more effort than he's willing to put it. He says he can't possibly lick my the way I ask him to because it's too hard, fast, crazy. But I've had other guys get me off without even having to say two words to them about what to do.
It also sounds like you (and your past lovers) have conditioned yourself to respond to a frenzied pace that he may not be able to keep up.
Maybe you are looking for a quick climax instead of laying back and letting the sensations build?
Not all women are alike and not all men can perform the same way.
Some women, I have talked to would have said that your past lovers were the lazy ones, because it sounds like they went for the quick and easy release instead of working up to it.
Well I wouldn't say they were lazy since it usually went on for quite a while and was very satisfying. Maybe it is just that is what my previous lovers were more voracious in there attempts to pleasure me. I guess he just has a different style and I should stop expecting it to feel the way it has before and maybe then I can enjoy what he has to offer.
It is a hard one.... I have had the same problem before. Teh only things I can say are that it is important to communicate what you would ideally like (which you have done), What parts of what he does you do like (hey... you might find another way/another thing you like? who knows... tell him to be adventurous and to try new movements/places etc) and to let him know how important this is to you. Sometimes I think some men are a bit lazy... I mean think what we have to do for them sometimes! Effort is needed on both parts to make sex good. Also, did you know that there are whole books devoted to knowing how to give good cunnilingus? Let him know how frustrated you are otherwise resentment will build....
Oh I am past resentment. This has been going on for 5 years. In the last 2 years he has started actually trying to do it. The first three he didn't even attempt it. I resented him when he wouldn't try. Now I am just to the point of thinking it must be my expectation and not his lack of effort. He definitely was lazy for the first 3 years though, very frustrating. And believe me I loved to reciprocate for him. It was one of my favorite things to do. Then it began feeling as if I was the only one who wanted to make the other feel good. Now he tries though so I don't feel resentful. I guess he kind of gets offended when I suggest reading books and articles.
No man likes to be told he is not good enough, especially at pleasing his woman.
Its worse to hear that other guys in the past were better than him, so I hope you don't tell him these things.
It was not good of him to be lazy for 3 years and not do it for you, but some guys are like that. He is putting in the effort now, but I guess he needs alot more coaching and education from you, not a book, and even when you let him know how you like it, do it in a nice, affectionate way, not in a condescending way...
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