Married man going to strip club.

Hey,I'm not married , but I'm sure your feelings will change when your wife gets back. I don't see this as cheating but as away of meeting your needs although I would be quite unhappy if some told me or my boyfriend told me that they were going 2 a strip club. And you don't want to get spotted there either. It seems to becoming a habit but at least your not doing anything with theses girls but you should keep stuff like that 4 you and your wife. Hope things get better

Why are you going, are you trying to take one of the dancers back home, how much money are you spending there, can you afford to spend that money.

If you were going one time with a group of friends for a party before they got married, or some special event, and your wife is fully aware you are going, it is no problem.

If you are ashamed to admit to your wife you are going, it is wrong, and while I am guessing at the reasons you are going, I would say you are going for some wrong reasons.

I used to be a dancer, so I'll try to answer for you.

A majority of the guys in the strip club are married or with someone, so you're not alone in that respect.

Whether or not it's considered cheating would ultimately be up to your wife, as everyone's definition of cheating is different. If you think your wife would be mad about it, then it's probably not something you should be doing.

If you want to stop going, there's a couple things you could do. First, is it possible to spice things up with your wife either on the internet or over the phone? It sounds like you're missing her companionship and looking for it elsewhere, so maybe you two could start having sexy phone conversations, sending each other racy emails and IM's, that sort of thing. Just be 100% sure it's safe to send your wife emails (because she's there for work, you wouldn't want to get her in trouble if she's on a work computer).

Second, if you want a good reason to stay out of the club, I'll be perfectly honest. The girls there just want your money. They'll sit and talk with you and act like you're the only person in the world as long as you're spending. At the end of the night, they count it up and laugh all the way to the bank.

Third, find something else to do when you get the urge to go out. Call up a friend and go do something together. Maybe find a hobby. Buy a couple of adult magazines to satisfy your curiosity. Try an adult bookstore/novelty shop....they have lots of things there you can use for "alone time".

Just be assured, you're perfectly normal! And the fact that you are concerned about your wife's feelings speaks volumes.

Fr Chuck,

I'm a bit surprised by your answer. The Bible clearly states that lust of the heart is adultery. Of course, we all sin, and we all lust at times. I won't deny that. But, the Bible also says that you should cut off the source of your sins. I'm not sure if the poster is religious, but, being a priest, I'd expect and desire more answers based upon the Christian faith. I'm pretty disappointed.

Mocha, man, I'd challenge yourself to be the best guy you can. You can listen to all other poster's answers, and not mine, and many may disagree with me---I mean, that's fine. Different opinions from other people. But, based on the simple fact that you're teetering with the idea that it MAY be a bad thing--and came looking for advice here--I think you know what you should be doing. Do the right thing, bro. Cut off the source. Be proud in doing the right thing.

I think you should honestly talk to your wife about going to strip club when she is gone. She shouldn't be mad at you if you tell her the truth.
If you love your wife, tell her how you feel...
Mocha, I don't think it is a good idea to get into a habit going to the strip clubs, those gals just want your money.
But at least, I think it is better for you to go to the strip clubs than having sex with other gals......... THAT WOULD BE A BIG PROBLEM!

So what's a man to do? Cut off Big Jim & the Twins? LOL

Sorry, couldn't resist!

Haha...funny mrs. Bobbit! But, here, ridding the source would be eliminating factors which stimulate the lust, and, in this particular case, going to the strip club.

Look, I understand the reality that it is tough---especially for this poor guy---his wife's all the way in China! But, you got to do the right thing. Doing the right thing very often is tough. We all know that.

I'm also aware that he, I, and everyone else will still have lustful thoughts in our lives. But....and this is my personal opinion.....(and I by no means regard my opnion as the utmost correct one)........it's important to work on your sins as hard as you possibly can. Of course you'll still screw up. But if you can eliminate things, then, hey, do it!

It's VERY easy to say "hey man, a guy's got needs...I mean, come onnnnnnnnn!" Trust me, I know. It's also easy to say "gee I don't see a big deal....I mean, would you rather him be having an affair?" Heck, I say things like that myself sometimes!

But that is fallacy, and it avoids the matter-at-hand.

Again, my more religious talk may not even be of interest to the poster, nor may it even have a place in the Adult Sexuality forum---I was simply disappointed to see a Priest with the title "Super Moderator" on the Forum that claims to give "Live Help from Real Experts!" say that there is a "wrong" reason for going----like there is ever a right reason to go---to lust in the heart. The Bible I read would speak against attending--even if it were for a bachelor party.

It's easy to get caught up in secular views and say "ohhhh come on....nothing that bad going on give me a break." Easy indeed.

I like seeing women naked. Doesn't mean I like my wife any less. Never went out with a stripper and never tried to either.

Eff it. I can't win a secular battle with religious talk. Think what yeah want, bro.