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I have talked about this on here before. my husband gets off way to fast. like 1 minute. but that isnt what is bothing me. well part of it. we had sex tonight and like always he got off in 1 minute or less. I began to cry. he said he was sorry. I know he meant it , but saying Im sorry and not doing anything about it. isnt going over very well with me. I told him my needs arent being meet. this has been going on for 11 years. I have cheated on him and I hated myself for it and I promised myself I would never do that again. what my ? is. Shouldnt he be more concerned about this. I feel I am the only one that is concerned over this. I cant get him to go to the doctor. or try anything. in the past we have tried creams and I have ordered some pills to see if they help. we have used condoms and he will last maybe 3 or 4 minutes longer but that is it. I talked to my doctor about it and he just says in time it will go away. seeing a sex therapist is out of the ? he wont do it. shouldnt he be willing to do what ever it takes, if he really loved me. I know I would for him.
Honey...you can't change him. If he cared how you felt, he would do *something* to work on this.
Honestly...if he doesn't start working on this with you, either with sex therapist or a physician, he's going to end up in marriage counseling wondering why your marriage is failing. Sex isn't the most important part of a relationship, but not even trying very hard to please your partner is generally a sign of something more important that's wrong.
Yes, I believe if he really loved you this problem would be sorted by now. You are not compatible sexually. He can’t change things any more than you can. What you can do is talk, try to work it out… perhaps some compromise. Try asking him to spend some time just pleasuring you…. His turn can be another night. He sounds selfish but I don’t think he is. He may simply be lazy or too laid back. But after 11 years, if it isn’t working now I don’t think it ever will.
I can talk to him and yes he is lazy when it comes to me...... I just dont want a divorce. I love him , but I am holding back my sexuality. we arent sexually compatible. I am a freak in bed and he knows this. I am very open to what I like and dont like. we talk about everything very well but on this area we dont like I wish we could. when I bring it up I am very careful on what I say to not hurt him. I am a very sexual person. maybe I am to much. could it be me ? I think he feels less of a man because of this. even though I tell him a lot of men have this problem. I dont want to hurt him in any way.
There isn't much you can do to change him...he is GOING to have to see a doctor or a sex therapist if he wants to keep this marriage together and you NEED to express this to him. I'm sure he feels embarrassed and less of a person about all of this and that's probably whats keeping him from getting the professional help he needs. After 11 years, he should have a longer sexual stamina that 1 minute or less...so this has nothing to do with him, it's a medical disorder that he can't control and he needs to realize this!
Well he's young and actually beyond or right at his sexual peak...he should have a probably with short sexual stamina at this point in his life...he needs to see a doctor!
Believe me this it hurting him too. Now one min for ten years sounds like a serious problem. I think it may have something to do with him never really experiencing a normal sexual relationship. I know this sounds strange, but if I were seventeen and had a sexy 30 year old interested in me I'm sure my confidence would be down as it related to pleasing her. I would feel inferior sexually, and we all know that sex is highly mental. In all honesty I know you guys need counseling. I think you have a situation where he has developed this mentality of being inferior to you sexually, and it manifests itself by premature ejaculation. When I was younger to alleviate this I would masturbate before a sexual encounter. This solved my problem, but I think you guys have a more serious situation. I hope I was helpful in my out loud philosophy
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