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I have talked about this on here before. my husband gets off way to fast. like 1 minute. but that isnt what is bothing me. well part of it. we had sex tonight and like always he got off in 1 minute or less. I began to cry. he said he was sorry. I know he meant it , but saying Im sorry and not doing anything about it. isnt going over very well with me. I told him my needs arent being meet. this has been going on for 11 years. I have cheated on him and I hated myself for it and I promised myself I would never do that again. what my ? is. Shouldnt he be more concerned about this. I feel I am the only one that is concerned over this. I cant get him to go to the doctor. or try anything. in the past we have tried creams and I have ordered some pills to see if they help. we have used condoms and he will last maybe 3 or 4 minutes longer but that is it. I talked to my doctor about it and he just says in time it will go away. seeing a sex therapist is out of the ? he wont do it. shouldnt he be willing to do what ever it takes, if he really loved me. I know I would for him.
It didnt work. I think I just need to give up on this. I am so tired of this. 11 years is enough for me. I will just give up on him pleasing me and just do it myself. just live with the fact that he cant do it and realize it is hopeless. as you can tell I am very upset right now. I GIVE UP
Don't give up, jus keep trying, if it doesn't work then hey, get it somewhere else or do it yourself, you can do different stuff to make it not boring, come on use u'r imagination..lol , if u have to have it then get it, go get pleased, if he won't try, or try different products, or councling then do what you gotta do baby girl. You come first, remember that, in ALL aspects of marrige, or any relationship, if he really cared for you, he would be all for it. seriously, im a guy, i know what i'm talking about..
Wait a minute, he was 16 and you were 29 when you married?!?! There's nothing wrong with an age difference but he was just a boy when you got married...It's a bit weird if you ask me...
But anyway, I agree with rankrank55, he's reaching the normal age where your sexuality peaks. Just slow down. When he feels like he's getting there, stop moving! Wait til' he's relaxed again, he has to learn how to control it. Just take your time. Help yourself out too, so when you feel like you're almost ready, get to it and let him go too...I dunno.
And all the comments about how he doesn't care about you should be erased. He's young,(younger than her) he can't help it if he's getting his rocks off the minute he gets through the door!!! Help him to control his sensations, like I said up there...Make him learn, be on top so you have control over the situation
And don't go cheating on him, that's just wrong! And you know it is. Gawd, the poor guys at his sexual prime, don't make him feel worse than he already does
I think there is something besides sex in this relationship, that needs to be worked on. Thats obvious as there is no way a willing male can't satisfy his female, unless he is NOT willing. I think he is holding a resentment, because of some past event. You need some talking to get done or maybe he isn't sharing all his feelings with you. He may say he forgives your cheating because of his problem, but that may not be the case. I think it goes beyond sex.
well we talked for a long time and I told him how tis has been making me feel all these years. we talked about me cheating on him in the past and why I did. he understood and said he was sorry that it came to that. I wish with everything in me that I hadnt. the reason I even told him in the first place was because I felt so bad about it. He does forgive me and knows If I had it to do over I wouldnt do it again. I do get sexually frustrated at times and think of it, but if it comes down to it I wouldnt. the talking about it helped a great deal. and we have decided to try new things. He is great at oral and I can be pleased this way. He works such long hours anywhere ron 65 to 70 per week and he is very tired during the week so the weekends are going to be our time to work on this. and this is a week end so who knows........
65 to 70 hours a week. Wow, no wonder why there is sexual frustration and no wonder why he is tired all the time. Then man obviously works very hard. Just wanted to say good luck to you and I hope that your able to work through your issues with him.
I have found that males are very reluctant to go to doctors / therapist for sexual issues due to embarrasment.
There is one technique you could try that is helpfull and does not involve medical intervention and can be tried at home without supervision. Its called Tantric sex. There is a lot of philosophy in the technique but this isnt a necessity, the sexual techniques tought by this work wonders. They helped my partner and myself through a sticky patch so I speak from experience on this one.
If you look it up and learn some of the techniques yourself first you will be able to apply them without his knowlegde and see how you get along.
The techniques include ways for males to delay orgasms and the bonus to that is also multiple orgasms for the male if the techniques are practiced.
If some of them work when you look it up and he is still unwilling to consider it then you may want to rethink the entire situation.
As already noted, sex isnt the entire relationship, but, its a rather large part of the relationship bonding process and females in particular put more weight on the bonding part of sex to re-enforce the bond.
Please let me know if this has been helpful at all
we had sex last night and he would stop and hold back and start again.. we did this for about 30 minutes. we are going to keep doing this every time. He finally listened to me and how it was hurting me all these years. starting and stopping was frustrating as hell to me , but it is a small price to pay for the outcome. today he was able to go longer before having to stop. which was great. to eveyone that has posted here. I would like to thank you all. everyone was very helpful. but most of all. It helped me to open up with my husband. again THANKS TO ALL OF YOU.
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