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Integrity of porn
Asked Feb 11, 2010, 02:27 AM
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24 Answers This is one of those things that has 'niggled' at the back of my mind for a few years. It's not a huge issue all the time but something that bothers me occaisionally when I think about it and I would be happier if I could resolve it. My hubby, like most men, enjoys a bit of porn from time to time. It's not really my bag, but no big deal. Now the thing is, I have no problem with jealousy or feeling it's intrisically wrong to watch other people or anything like that. The problem is this. A few years ago I watched a documentary about female porn stars. The women on this programme had all been really badly affected by being in porn. Some had committed suicide even. Some had been co-erced into it. Even the ones that had gone into it happily, felt scarred by the way the men who ran the business had treated them. Now I realise this won't be the case for all of them. I also realise that a documentary sets out to present a certain point of view so they would have milked the angle they were giving. But how can you know if the people involved are ok with what they are doing? It's not just about porn really. I like to buy fair-trade goods and would feel awful if I thought I was getting clothes made by child slaves or something like that. It's just that I can see the potential for exploitation in porn and that's what makes me uneasy. For me to feel genuinely comfortable with my hubby, or anyone else, watching porn I need to know that they aren't watching someone who is being unwillingly exploited in some way, as if they are it kind of makes me feel the watcher is being complicit, however undeliberately, in the exploitation. If I can be confident that all the people are quite happy with what they are doing and just enjoy earning their cash having sex on camera then fine. Is there any way to tell? Are some porn makers better than others? |
24 Answers
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| In the third world, primarily Asian countires such as India, Thailand, Phillipines, there are many incidents that women are being co-erced for sexual exploitation. But in the societies where women are educated, co-ercion is rare per my reading on the media. | ||||
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| I've been thinking about this question all morning, and it seems to me the only way you can be reasonably sure is to watch amateur porn as opposed to the Hollywood produced stuff. | ||||
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| No way to know that I know of....what may have happened decades ago while it was illegal or still had a dubious legality are moot, Today they all do it knowingly, and willingly...and are compensated for it. They don't HAVE to do it. They are fully capable of normal jobs....they would just have to work harder for the money. Just as they get older they begin to realise they made choices they regret and try to blame others when it was their choice all along. I think its less about the porn industry making them unstable...but that being unstabile they may have been drawn TO the porn industry. Many people tend to go for the easy money.....IE getting the most money for the least amount of work. But like Synnen said....there is plenty of amateur porn out there if you like to watch with him. Personally big fake boobs in many of the PRO porn movies turn me off. I'd rather see a real "A" to a silicone "D", or even moderately saggy "D"s. Because I honestly have never once seen a real set of "D"s that defy the law of gravity....even on 16 year olds when I was still a teenager. Hell to see most porn you'd think they single handedly keep all the plastic surgeons in business. | ||||
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| In my opinion there is no porn that is not full of problems. Porn itself is addictive and the fastest growing segment of the internet. By simply reading all the posts in this section you will soon realize that porn is one of the biggest things people come on here and ask about. Almost always in relationship terms. According to people who understand the situation, pron is so bad and people are using porn so much to get off that it is becoming almost impossible for them to have a real sexual relationships. I would encourage you to get your husband to understand how addictive porn is and that he needs to stop before it effects your relationship. | ||||
| JK191 (Feb 12, 2010 05:44 AM):
Should we lay off the coffee too? That's quite addictive as well Source: |
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| Alcohol is addictive...Religion is too....we know tobacco is. | ||||
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| JK191 apparently you have not read the rules on the rating system. I stated a fact and you gave an opinion. OH well. You and Smoothy make absurd comments about addictions. Coffee, chocolate and sugar as far as I know have never caused relationship problems like porn addiction. Smoothy is one who believes that porn is OK. I do not. My belief is based on the number of questions posted on this forum about relationships and porn. A simple read would lead you to understand why I believe that. But I don't know, maybe you are too lazy to actually read all the information that is available about addictions, especially porn addiction, so you must instead make nasty comments against people who do not agree with you. | ||||
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| What's absurd about my comments... Far more people are addicted to things other than porn than are addicted to porn. And any of those also cause relationship problems....just like compulsive shopping does. If that wasn't such a huge problem...why are so many people so deeply in credit card debt. Why do so many people insist on living beyond their means. I think that is a far larger problem in society as it effects far more people who aren't even connected to you in any way. Witness the current economy for a prime example of a lot of people way over reaching. Yeah SOME people get addicted to porn...but SOME people are addicted to caffine...Shopping, and actually if you look deeply enough..somebody is addicted to just about anything you can name. Some people just have addictive personalities and if it wasn't porn..it could just as easily be something else. Now would you consider a compulsion to be the same as an addiction, or a habit? | ||||
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| Yet these "addicted" people are not on THIS forum asking about relationship problems and mentioning that their partner watches porn on the computer or looks at porn all the time. Come on, get real for a change. I know you watch porn and do not feel that it is an issue in your relationship. But I do not see you or your spouse coming on here and asking questions about porn use in a relationship. Just because it is legal does not make it right in a kind loving relationship. You really need to spend some time reading what the experts are saying about porn, porn addiction and it's bottom line effects on relationships. Not just what you are reading in playboy and huistler. | ||||
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Um...this IS the Adult Sexuality forum after all. This IS the forum for that subject....not the other ones. That's like going to a Suburu Dealer and saying look at all the Suburus here for repair. They must be junk. Thats why you don't see people talking about Shopping addictions. Credit card debt etc...in THIS forum. How about we discuss your compulsion about ranting over porn in general? Or would you personally like to see a resurgance of Victorian era sexual practices? | ||||
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