Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Adult Sexuality (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=370)
-   -   I'm 18 and afraid to have sex VIRGIN! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=287517)

  • Dec 2, 2008, 01:38 PM
    goodgurlgonebad
    Im 18 and afraid to have sex VIRGIN!
    I'm 18 years old and afraid to have sex or even be alone with guys sexual feelings scare me and I almost have anxiety its so weird out of all my friends I'm the only virgin and its not like I'm anti-sexual I do want to find that someone but ill never be able to do that if I always have my walls up and never let people in... and as soon as I meet a guy for the couple weeks its good but when he wants to be alone with me or touch me I back out and don't talk to them?is this normal wats wrong


    Confuzed
  • Dec 2, 2008, 01:40 PM
    Justwantfair

    It's normal and wonderful to hear. There is nothing wrong with you. Everyone is scared there first time. You just need to find the right person. When you love someone and are comfortable sex with be more natural. You are trying to sleep with men you don't know well enough to love and be comfortable with.
  • Dec 2, 2008, 01:41 PM
    ZoeMarie

    If you've only known a guy for a couple weeks it's definitely OK to not want to be touched and have sex. Wait as long as you want because if you're not ready you will regret it. Good for you not giving it up after 2 weeks with a guy!!
  • Dec 2, 2008, 02:05 PM
    Synnen

    PLEASE do not type in chat speak.

    If you continue to type like an adolescent, I will assume that you are one, instead of an ADULT on an ADULT board, and I will delete your posts accordingly.
  • Dec 2, 2008, 03:10 PM
    450donn

    There is no reason you must have sex. Just because someone jumps off a bridge do you have to? Sounds stupid, but the point is valid. Why do you feel you have to have sex if you are not ready? Look at it another way, while your friends can very likely go to the marriage bed with some form of an STD you can feel proud that you will not. Also these feeling could be from your upbringing. Was your home life strict?
  • Dec 3, 2008, 09:34 AM
    goodgurlgonebad

    Well I didn't grow up in a strict household hardly any rules really.. my mom is open and I can talk to her about everything.. thank you all so much for the responses it has opened my eyes to a new leval

    But I still don't no why I'm so scared to be around a guy?or even be touched by one its like I can never be comfortable around them
  • Dec 3, 2008, 09:40 AM
    Justwantfair

    Because it is new to you and if you are with guys that you aren't comfortable with you will be scared. Everyone is scared their first time but with someone you care about, it's not as scary. I know there is a lot of pressure in knowing that your friends have all done it and you haven't, but just know that it's a wonderful gift to wait. You are not the only one who has waited. Don't be in such a hurry to give away such a precious gift especially to just any guy.
  • Dec 3, 2008, 11:19 AM
    TexasParent

    You will know when it's right, every fiber of your being will know when the right person, and the right time has come. If you are able; that would be when you meet and fall in love and marry a man so in sync with you that you will know he is the one.

    To have sex before you feel this comfortable and trusting of someone; who has your best interests at heart will always result in disappointment and regret to some degree.

    Listen to your fear, you mind and body is telling you that you are not ready or he is not the one to share yourself with. Trust your instincts and do not have sex with this person, from what you've said I don't think it's the right time for you and you know it through your fear.

    Don't have sex just to keep him, if he is worthy of keeping he will stay for your heart and your mind, not just your body.
  • Dec 3, 2008, 02:41 PM
    twinkiedooter

    A friend of mine is 28 and she is still a virgin. She refuses to have sex unless she is married first. She is a perfectly normal woman in every way and likes men but she refuses to have sex unless she is married first. Not a thing wrong with that. She has morals and is not pressured by anyone to anything she does not want to do. Don't cave in, OK?
  • Dec 4, 2008, 06:56 AM
    Synnen

    Quote:

    Comments on this post
    Olblueyes disagrees: Thought it was kind of mean and belittling, actually.
    First, please use the site rules regarding use of disagrees.

    Second--I'm the moderator of this forum. At the top of the page BEFORE you can post a question in Adult Sexuality, is a post that says "Please Read This Before Posting in Adult Sexuality". In that post, it states that if your language indicates that you are a minor--in other words, chat speak--your post will be deleted.

    I feel that it is fair to give a warning to people BEFORE deleting their posts.
  • Dec 5, 2008, 06:45 PM
    Choux

    Good,

    LIfe is full of many wonders, many potential experiences, good bad and between, and I recomment that you look forward to the future with great anticipation! You won't be able to do that if you have too much fear... in this case, of males and sexual relations.

    Now, we have a sex soaked culture in America and other first world countries that give false and brutal views of what sex is like, but it is false and for losers... you don't have to have a sex life like anything depicted on Tv or in the movies or in porn.

    I think it would help you to talk about sex with a person who actually knows something about women and sexual relations. Not with pablum pukers or with rough types and brutalizers.

    Good Luck to you,
  • Dec 11, 2008, 12:39 AM
    Starbucks21

    My fiancé is like that. Trust me it's a turn on with most women.
  • Dec 20, 2008, 04:03 PM
    love092489

    I think that it is perfectly normal for this to happen. This happens to people in all sorts of different ways and yours just seems to be sex. I think that you need to wait until you are entirely comfortable with a guy. You'll know when its time to have sex. So many people push the sex issue and then they end up regretting the people they have had sex with. You will know trusst me
  • Dec 20, 2008, 06:25 PM
    talaniman

    You have plenty of time for things to work out, so just learn, and grow, through your life at your own pace. It is your life.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:32 PM.