About a year ago I acted out one of my husbands fantasies of me being with a girl but he initiated the whole thing. I didnt think he would want me to do it again. However, now he is wanting me to and when I tell him I'm not ready to again or that I dont want to right now he gets really angry and says that I'm boring. This hurts because I feel he should respect me enough to not want me to do it if I dont want to yet. We have a good sex life 4-5 times a week and we have 3 children. I do want to do it again but want to feel in the mood or comfortable with the person I decide to do it with. I am VERY shy and it is hard for me to actually try to start things up....I can barely strike up a normal conversation with someone much less a sexual start up so when I ask him to come up with a way he can start it for me he gets mad about that.....How should I handle this?? We have been together for almost 9 years.

Handyman2007

I agree with this response 100%. He is being controlling, selfish and demanding.

arturo1

I want my wife

donyell

I am so sorry to say that you should not have opened that can of worms . Your husband should only want to be with you . He married you and that should be enough. There are all kinds of things that you can do besides bring another person into your bedroom maybe it is time for councling now sometimes it helpls when another person is relating how you feel to your spouse cause for some reason he is just not hearing you.

Credendovidis

You need to change your approach to this problem in another direction.
Besides all that was already stated here, I suggest you do the following, as long as you do not like to do that :

As your husband more or less forced you earlier to have sex with someone of your own gender, you should demand now he should first do the same : have sex with one of his own gender.
I think that this will stop him dead in his tracks ...

But why do you allow him to abuse you ? This is nothing but abuse : sexually and mentally.
There is nothing wrong with having sexual encounters outside marriage - if that is what you two want and jointly can agree upon - but it is abuse if one of the partners is forced to do so against his/her will.

smoothy

Um...she might want to have "HER" fanatasy first.....then he gets his. Otherwise he would waffle and delay and she would never get hers.

Synnen

Oh, that's completely what I meant....the next time they had to add ANYONE, it should be another guy, since he'd already GOTTEN his fantasy, so the NEXT time they do fantasies, it should be HER fantasy.

And she should definitely add all the things she wants the guys to do to each other every time she talks about it. Giving head, daisy chains, whatever--make it clear that the guys are going to be interacting with each other (the same way that I'm sure the women were interacting with each other for HIS pleasure).

I did forget to add, though, that when he's shocked, appalled, and uncomfortable with the talk of him and another man--the OP should get really angry tell him that he's being "boring!"

Xrayman

Dear Syn,

That has to be the best answer to this I've heard. Well done (can't give you any greenies-had to spread the word)

lella87

Simple.. tell him "Ok babe... but i want a threesome with another guy" That will shut him up.. If not.. you have a problem.

If you dont wanna do it.. Dont.

George_1950

Your husband is nuts; has he heard of STD's? Sexually Transmitted Diseases - Information from CDC

southerngalps

i feel that there is something wrong with a married man wanting to continue having threesomes. this would worry me that i am not the sexy, attractive woman i was and he just wants to see someone else in bed who gets him going...i think other things should be done to create a better sex life. threesomes should not be done with someone you love. i have experienced this...and i couldn't get the picture out of my head of my love touching someone else.