Originally Posted by
abbiec
Thanks everyone for responding.
I just don't know what I'm waiting for. I guess the good times are really good and that is what I yearn for. We have had problems with me not going out of my way to make his teen boy feel close to me. The teen is irrogant and rude. I say hello to him, I do the laundry, cook, clean but I don't dare ask the teen anything because I will just say it wrong and my husband will think I am picking on the teen. I will admit that my tone isn't always happy and friendly because when I moved in with him, we had a family meeting to discuss how the family would work and how I fit in. I was the stepmom and my husband and I were a united front, everyone had chores and responsiblities. At first he cracked down when they didnt do their chores, I would remind them that they had to do their chores, he would support me. Then, out of the blue, my husband told me that he didn't want me to interact with the kids and to just act like their "friend", but not mother them. That was 4 years ago, I was cut out of the family 4 years ago and I resent it. I cook I clean I do laundry I work shift work, I contribute 1000 every two weeks into the "family" that I am not a part of. The kids side with their dad, the three of them have private conversations in the kids bedrooms, I never know what is going on, when a concert at school is happening, where they are going,. I am not included anymore. And, if I say anything out of line that my husband doesnt approve of, then he wants me out of the house. I feel unsafe.. and btw, we arent married, just living together but its easier to say he is my husband.
What a fool, I can see that I need to get out of this relationship but but but.. the good times, the months we spent living in the wilderness ,. just the two of us, was magic and I am waiting for that man to return. Maybe he can't and I need to prepare for that. I am hoping councelling will help him to realise what he is doing, how he is behaving and maybe I will be able to let go..
Something else I've discovered lately, he has never let me get involved with paying the bills or seeing the bank accounts yet he takes large amounts of my pay every pay day. The 1000 every two weeks, I give him is to help with groceries for me, my car insurance and my living expenses like heat, water, electricity,. but I am also buying groceries out of my own money or we won't have the right food. He doesn't trust me to do the grocery shopping because I might buy the wrong food, so he does the shopping as well, but I still buy groceries from my own money, fruit, bread when we run out, lunch meat, etc,. which leaves me broke, at the moment is 2.89 cents in my account.
I am so stupid.