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angie35 · Feb 17, 2009, 12:57 PM

The five years of my relationship with my husband, I never thought that he would not be able to get it up. It was an embarrassing feeling I experience last night. It was up while we kissing by the time we were going to have sex in went down. There are time I was giving him oral sex and he falls asleep in the mist of it. I was in tears because I was so embarrass. He work to two jobs seven days a week but that was never an issue before. I am a very romantic person and always bringing excitement to the bedroom. Now I am looking for excitement somewhere else. I don't want to cheat I never cheated on him but I need sex good sex. What is the problem? Is he not turn on by me anymore?

Synnen · Feb 17, 2009, 01:04 PM

He is probably just exhausted.

2 jobs, 7 days a week, is enough to leave ANYONE with no sex drive.

smoothy · Feb 17, 2009, 02:05 PM

Originally Posted by Synnen

He is probably just exhausted.

2 jobs, 7 days a week, is enough to leave ANYONE with no sex drive.

I'll second that... it sound's like nothing you did wrong... just physical exhaustion got the best of him.

Choux · Feb 17, 2009, 03:45 PM

Why don't you go for couple's therapy and try to save your marriage.

Marriage is about negotiating, girl. Give and take. You may need a professional intermediary to sort through the issues here and then, have you and your husband talk frankly from the heart. :)

Best wishes, :)

bronzebabe · Feb 17, 2009, 07:48 PM

he's too tired...fatigue will cause him not to be able to function, and it has Nothing to do with you...don't feel bad... give him a break...

Kadehadaire · Feb 18, 2009, 05:51 AM

I really agree with bronzebabe, the poor guy seems to be working really hard for the life you share together.

Do you have a job/are you working?

Maybe you could supplement the household incoe and he'd have time to rest and romance you?

Talk to him about it.

awaxcool · Feb 19, 2009, 02:19 AM

Sometimes it happens for many reasons just be Patient
Do not think that a man is like a machine all you need is to push a button and it will start !
Just give him time.. go to where else like a nice hotel room or even in a camp out of the city or do it some where in the house not necessary in the bed room !
Try to not make it big matter because he will feel bad and it will be even more worst than now
Just try to not think about it much and... DO NOT EVER LET HIM SEE YOUR TEARS COZ OF THIS MATTER :eek:
It will make him feel finish...

Good luck

virginiawife · Feb 21, 2009, 08:52 AM

I agree with what everyone is saying... your husband is tired.

In today's economic times, it can be very difficult to make ends meet. Stress is a huge factor that affect performance. You have to weigh the benefits of the two jobs, seven days a week with the future of your marriage.

My biggest concern is that you are considering cheating on your husband because he could not perform. Your entire marriage should not be based on SEX--it is an important part, but there should be more than that.

Since your husband is working two jobs, it sounds like there may be financial issues (even more stress) but you really need to try and find a way to swing the marriage counseling--even if you go through your employer--a lot of employers have EAPs --Employee Assistance Plans--that will give you a few free counseling sessions that are anonymous. That may be all you need, stress on the word MAY. It can be a start.

Don't cheat on this hard-working man. Open the lines of communication and try to see things from his perspective, I am sure he wants you, too.

smalltowngal · Feb 22, 2009, 11:00 AM

If he's falling asleep, it's because he is tired, plain and simple. It has nothing to do with you or how romantic you are or how good in bed you are. As for him "getting it up" is there a reason it needs to be up the whole time? As long as you're both enjoying yourselves and you are able to help him get it up when it's time for intercourse, it doesn't matter if it's down the rest of the time. Crying isn't going to help when he's probably as embarrassed as you are. That's only going to make him feel bad so try to hold that in and keep in mind this is his problem too, not just yours.