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talaniman · Mar 23, 2007, 07:20 AM

It stands out when couples don't know how to talk to each other, whether it was that way when they were growing up, or a mistrust to open up. All the assumption can be eliminated just by honestly communicating with each other, especially when the problem is sexual in nature, and one partner will not open up to the other. It doesn't matter if this guy is gay or not, just the fact she doesn't know for sure is the problem. No communication, no relationship.

excon · Mar 23, 2007, 07:27 AM

Originally Posted by RubyPitbull

But, I think in this particular instance we shouldn't assume anything.

Hello again, Ruby:

Quite contraire, Ruby my friend. Without ANY evidence to suggest otherwise, I assume he's a good man. Why would you not? Because he likes to watch gay porn? I think some of your prejudices may be showing.

In addition, I wasn't making light of her issue. Clearly, she believes it to be serious. I just don't think it is. What I was suggesting, is that SHE make light of it.

excon

PS> My measurement?? Ruby, Ruby, Ruby!

RubyPitbull · Mar 23, 2007, 07:44 AM

Originally Posted by excon

Quite contraire, Ruby my friend. Without ANY evidence to suggest otherwise, I assume he's a good man. Why would you not? Because he likes to watch gay porn? I think some of your prejudices may be showing. In addition, I wasn't making light of her issue. Clearly, she believes it to be serious. I just don't think it is. What I was suggesting, is that SHE make light of it.

I think we need to agree to disagree on this one excon.

My prejudices aren't showing at all. Since I do not know anything about this couple, I am not assuming anything. I will not assume that he has honored their marriage or that he is straight and just into gay porn. Just like I will not assume that it isn't anything more than what you are stating here.

It is obvious from her posting that she is upset and cannot make light of it, or else she wouldn't have posted. For us to tell her to make light of it, and assuring her that there is nothing to worry about, isn't constructive. If what you suggest is true, she needs outside help to teach her how to do this. The fact that her husband is saying he is not gay, and she is still questioning it, tells me there is a huge problem in their communication with each other. They have hit a roadblock in their marriage. Whether the problem is hers or his, is something that needs to be found out and then worked on. Thus, the suggestion to seek outside help.

excon · Mar 23, 2007, 07:55 AM

Hello again, Ruby:

I don't think we disagree at all. In fact, as both you and Tal said, this is a communication problem, not a sexual problem. The sex is the easy part.

excon

smoothy · Mar 23, 2007, 07:59 AM

Diseases aside...

I am 100% hetero, so is my wife. That doesn't change the fact she gets turned on by two guys going at it. She does however cringe at the kissing however. I'll watch it with her and entertain her fantasies... personally I'll pick a woman every time given a chance to do what I want with whoever I want. I've never done anything with a guy, and don't plan to. What takes place between a man and woman is between them. In our case we are open enough to try and discuss new things between us. Wife entertains my fantasies as well, FMF threesomes but that doesn't mean we have done those or that she is a lesbian, as she isn't. See my point.

RubyPitbull · Mar 23, 2007, 08:04 AM

I understand exactly what you are saying Smoothy. Maybe your insight will help love to relax and it will appear not to be as big a problem to her as she seems to suggest here in her posting, AND, as the love of my life, excon is saying.

excon · Mar 23, 2007, 08:14 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

In our case we are open enough to try and discuss new things between us....... See my point.

Hello smoothy:

Yes, and now we all agree. The point is, you DISCUSS it. THAT is the difference.

excon

talaniman · Mar 23, 2007, 08:29 AM

I hope they get some good counseling, and if he won't go then she still should. Your right Ruby some people have to be taught how to communicate.

AHAWK · Apr 29, 2007, 06:31 AM

A spade is a spade no matter how you look at it

ky37m · Aug 26, 2007, 05:13 PM

If You Cop A Woody By Watching Two Guys Getting It On, You Are Probably Gay... bottom Line