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How do I put it on him!

Asked Dec 31, 2009, 06:28 AM — 24 Answers
So me and my boyfriend has been dating for almost 2 years. We've only had sex twice. We tried to develop a friendship before we deicde to have serious relationship. We recently had a conversation about aresex life. He told me that we have a issue with our sex life. He told me that I am very inexperienced and he is very experience so its a lot I have to learn and its hard because he's not easily turned on. He said he's been wanting to talk to me but he didn't know how. Now when he said that my confidence level went down. So I told him how am I going to give him what he want if we don't talk about, he don't tell me what he like, wants, or turns him on. Now I'm going crazy trying to find ways to catch him by surprise and give it to him like he never expect me to. I've bought toys, porn movies, and is currently reading a book about men and sex. It obvious that we are both umcomfortable with subject but I want to get over the nearvousness and put it on him especially since he says I'm inexperienced. So my questions are:

1. How do I initiate sex to him?
2.what do men like?
3. What don't men like?
What are things I should do to make him want it?
4. What should I do to let him know I want it?
5. What are ways to get me comfortable to initiate sex with him?
24 Answers
smoothy's Avatar
smoothy Posts: 15,494, Reputation: 10703
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#21

Jan 4, 2010, 06:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tanzania View Post
well first, he's 26 yreas old. Does that make a difference? And I thought that it was an excuse too. I admit that I'm not the greatest in relationships and I've never had a problem with any male saying that I'm inexperienced so it caught me by surprise especially since we haven't had much sex.

Our relationship has been bumpy throughout the 2 years we've been together. But after we broke up and june and got back together, things have gotten a lot better. Everything he said he couldn't do in the past, he started doing. As far as being more affectionate, spending more time, showing he cares, and helping me.

I admit are communications skills are horrible. It has always been. Welve gotten better but its still not where it should be. We can talk about are day and what not but when it comes to things a little more personally, we tend to not talk about it. He even said he wanted to talk to me about are issues we are having in bed but he didn't know how. I just feel like this more of a bigger issue and I should give up because I am worrying too much about. And the fact that if I come on to him he might not like it.

Age has little to do with it....older guys SHOULD have more erxperience (but not always)...but a jerk is still a jerk irregardless of how old they are.

Occaisional disagreements are going to be normal...but it seems like you are constantly having them.....and that tells me you don't have a relationship....you just choose to hang out with a guy that shares none of your personal interests. Particularly after 2 years of this. What is it...do you not want to find a better guy than this one? All the signs have been telling you he ISN'T Mr. Right...he IS Mr. Issues.....or Mr. Wrong.

If you were meant to be together you would have few disagreements and few problems...
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Tanzania's Avatar
Tanzania Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
New Member
 
#22

Jan 26, 2010, 05:53 AM
Me and this guy broke up for two months and got back together. Things got better. He started doing way more than he did before we broken up. It just seems like he progresses slowly. So I guess when I see him progress jst I little bit I have hope that our issues will be resolved. I guess that's why I stay. But now I don't know. I guess now I'm getting tired of him. I feel like he just makes excuses as to why he don't want to have sex with me. I really don't understand why he don't want to. I'm tired of putting effort in to trying to have sex with him and make this relationship work.
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smoothy's Avatar
smoothy Posts: 15,494, Reputation: 10703
Uber Member
 
#23

Jan 26, 2010, 07:04 AM
People don't make major changes without a life altering experience...like having been on the brink of death.

Otherwise they temporarily start doing what they think someone else wants....but almost always eventually fall back into their old way of doing things.
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jfo's Avatar
jfo Posts: 31, Reputation: 10
Junior Member
 
#24

Jan 27, 2010, 08:03 PM
Is he masturbating? Low sex drive? Seems to me he's making excuses about your lack of experience. That's just my opinion. I think when someone wants to be with you, they want to be with you, that includes sex. Again, just my opinion.
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cyr1952's Avatar
cyr1952 Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
New Member
 
#25

Feb 1, 2010, 02:58 PM
I find it hard to understand this cause to me sex takes the stress away ,but we are all different and like Synnen said Talk Talk Talk but maybe about where he can release the strees before you get into sex
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