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How do I get my boyfriend to want me again?
Asked Apr 24, 2012, 07:59 PM
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3 Answers My boyfriend and I have been living together a year. I love him but about a month into the relationship he stopped wanting sex. I am the one who tries to get hm in the mood. Sometimes it works other times it does not. He claims he is tired or stressed. I bring it up now and then to try and talk ans it is same story . I tell him how handsome he is etc but he never gives me complaments. I feel like I am unloved. He tells me he loves kisses me good bye when he goes to work or at night but no intimacey no passionate petting nothing. I am willing to try almost anything but nothing is working I just want some type of affection from him. |
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| He's told you why. Tired and stressed. Complimenting him won't get him untired or unstressed. What is he stressed about? What leaves him so exhausted? It could also be that this is the level of intimacy and passion that he exhibits. It could just be the way things are. | ||||
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| In addition to what Craven asked, I have a few questions to get a better sense of the background of your relationship: How old are both of you and how is his health? Age and health issues can have a major impact on someone wanting sex. How long did you date before you moved in together? You say that he stopped wanting sex a month into the relationship. Did you mean a month after you started living together? How often are you trying to get him in the mood? If he shows you affection (other than a goodbye/good night kiss), do you try to take it farther? It may not seem like it but he may be feeling pressured to have sex or be intimate when he isn't feeling like it. That pressure from you and/or himself can act as a libido killer. It can also cause a person to shut down and back away. Something you can try is to show him small signs of affection such as quick kisses on the cheek, a caress in passing, doing little things you know will bring a smile to his face, etc. because you enjoy doing those things not because you are wanting sex. Show him that showing affection and intimacy does not mean he will have his clothes ripped off. Broaden your topics of discussion to include all aspects of the relationship. Talk about why he is stressed and exhausted. See what would help him reduce the stress he is feeling. Make sure you both have time away from each other to spend on other interests and/or with friends. Being a couple doesn't mean you have to spend every free moment together. Work together as a couple to see if there are compromises that can be made. If you can't or won't try to communicate with each other and work together, then maybe you rushed into something that wasn't meant to last. | ||||
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