So I always knew that my boyfriend looked at porn but I just kind of put in the back of my mind. Unfortunately, we moved in to together and now I realize that porn is not just something that he looks at every once in a while- he's practically obsessed. He looks at porn at least once a day, usually more. Porn is just something that I don't understand. He tells me he loves me and that he is attracted to me so I don't understand why he has to think about someone else to get off. Also, the more I see these women and their airbrushed bodies and huge perfect breasts I am less inclined to believe him when he says he's attracted to me, because if this is what he's looking for well then how the hell could he be attracted to me? His porn addiction has really destroyed my self esteem and I have tried so hard to get him to stop using it. I try so hard to make sure that he is constantly pleased so that he won't use porn but I think a lot of times he turns me down because he prefers porn. I even let him take naked pictures of me so he could use them when I am not available but of course why look at me when you can look at millions of pictures of perfect, dirty women. The thing that really concerns me lately is the way the porn affects our sex life. Porn is so misogynistic and it seems now that only the behaviors he sees in porn are the ones that turn him on. If I please him orally he wants to ejaculate all over my face and when we have sex he wants me to talk really, really dirty and use foul language about my body. I don't feel comfortable doing these things and it kind of ruins sex for me but I do anything to try and keep him away from porn.

This was a really long question, but there is just so much confusion surrounding this subject. If anyone does take the time to read this whole thing I appreciate it. I would be extremely grateful for any light you can shed .

Xrayman

mmm there are two schools of thought here. I think he could be just like many other men and love the image and portrayal of pornographic images-it is different to real life-a kind of fantasy. This means that it is relatively "safe". EXCEPT here I think he prefers porn to you-that's disturbing.

I find sometimes that depictions of "dirty" sex turns me on, other times I like romance and sensual sex. It varies, however if I only wanted dirty sex-then this would become an issue for the mrs-of course.

so maybe make a deal-you could stroke his ego and need for porn by being a little more "easy" and maybe not so easily disgusted, BUT HE NEEDS TO STOP THE PORN USAGE! Rarely does porn HELP a relationship unless both of you enjoy it together-which in this case is not the case, you really need to discuss this with him and get some concrete assertions about your limits and he needs to give you some concrete promises about respecting those limits.

cheers.

Homegirl 50

Any time a man wants you to do things that you feel are degrading, he does not respect you. He watches that stuff and then he wants you to do it. I think porn gives men the wrong image of women, then they try and degrade their women by making them feel as though they should act like a porn star.
Don't allow this man to disrepect you like that. Leave him to his kincky sex. This is your body. You'd better respect it cause he sure is not.

Ash123

In a relationship, there's nothing wrong with anything that doesn't hurt you or anyone else - and you are both comfortable with......

The problem here is that you are not comfortable. and that is not good. and it seems he is preying on your self-esteem...and you are feeding it.

It's time to test your relationship. You've been pushed to the brink,now it's time to let off some steam....tell him how you feel and inform him that this may not be working out....be prepared to walk and see how he reacts.

guts and self-esteem are how you get a good guy....might as well start practicing with him. on your mark - get set.....

coolbrezzeb

I agree with all u guys; Get set-Go